Frum Idealism

2006-10-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

Yerushalayim

2006-10-25T16:30:00.000-04:00

Yerushalayim

Catcalls

2006-10-19T10:59:00.000-04:00

I had an "interesting" experience this week. I had the unfortunate pleasure of driving on the streets of Brooklyn. On the bright side, I had the opportunity to observe a really beautiful frum blonde woman walking down the street. I have to admit, I couldn't help myself, I looked. Did I mention that she was really beautiful?
Anyway, a few seconds later, this same woman passed a construction site and the sound of whistles and catcalls could be heard, loud and clear. I couldn't see her face, but I can most certainly imagine her expression. After all, what woman wouldn't appreciate such attention (you do hear the sarcasm in my typing, right?).
Yes, I looked and yes, I appreciated what I saw, but I kept it to myself, and even if I decided that I couldn't keep it to myself, I would find a more intelligent way of getting my point across than obnoxious whistles and catcalls.

OK, here's my question......
WHAT ARE THESE GUYS THINKING???

I'm a guy and I really can't figure it out. Do they think that women enjoy it? Do they think that they make the woman's day because they are apparently letting her know, albeit in classic caveman fashion, that they think that she is attractive?
Ultimately, I think I may have hit on the answer. That's just it, they don't think. Times likes these, I'm just embarrassed to be a man.

Blessing or curse

2006-10-17T10:44:00.000-04:00

In this week's parsha, the snake is "cursed" that he is relegated to eating dust/dirt for the rest of eternity. Why is this a curse? It would seem to be a blessing. He never has to worry about where his next meal is coming from. Wherever he goes there is dirt, so he has a meal waiting for him wherever he is.
A friend of mine recently told me a mashal that he used to explain yiras Hashem to someone else. He gave an example of two brothers aged fifteen and twenty two. The older one, graduated high school and college and is now working but still living at home. The younger brother is still in high school. The father goes out of town and warns the boys, have all the fun you want, but do not dare touch my sports car. Of course, boys will be boys, and they take the sports car out for a spin and of course they crash into our good friend, Mr. Murphy. Both boys are somewhat scared, but there's a difference. The fifteen year old is scared because he's not sure whether he will be grounded for a week, a month, a year or five years. The older brother, however, is more concerned. He's already quite independent, his father can't really punish him any more. He realizes though, being that the father can't really punish him, his punishment is worse. He has reached an age of responsibility and has developed a different, more mature, closer relationship with his father. This act has damaged that. He has disappointed his father. Living with that, is his punishment. That's how my friend explained yiras Hashem. We are afraid of doing something that would damage the wonderful close relationship that we have with Hashem, our Father, our Creator.
Using this example, we can now easily understand how badly the snake was cursed. Unlike the snake, the immediate source of our daily sustenance is unknown. Therefore, we pray to Hashem on a daily basis, at least three times a day, asking for among other things, sustenance, and Hashem looks forward to our daily prayers. Being that the snake always knows where his next meal is, he never has to pray to Hashem. The distance between the snake and his Creator is immeasurable. That is his punishment. The ultimate curse.

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 110

2006-10-15T23:10:00.000-04:00

Who knows TEN?
I know TEN.
Ten are the commandments

I had earlier stated that numbers one through five were one group of numbers and six through ten are another. Ten is the last of the base numbers. Yes, the Echad Mee Yodeah continues on until thirteen, but for all practical purposes, eleven through thirteen are ten plus one through three.
Ten denotes completion. Ten completes each set of numbers: units, tens and hundreds. With ten "sayings" Hashem created the world. There were ten items that were created the very first Friday during the twilight hours (bein hashmashos) right before the world's first shabbos. There were ten generations from Adam until Noach, then that generation, Dor Hamabul, was complete. There were ten generations from Noach until Avraham. Avraham underwent ten nisyonos/tests before Hashem fully recognized him as His faithful servant. Ten makos in mitzrayim. Finally, what made us into not only a nation, but Hashem's nation, was the giving of laws. How many? Obviously, to complete the process, Ten.

Oh, P.S. How many days to complete the days of the teshuva process, of course, ten.

Who am I? - Tribute

2006-10-13T12:11:00.000-04:00

I have already posted two "Who am I" posts, and I believe that the time has come for a third. In Pirkei Avos we are taught, "Da Mai'ayin Baasa" know from where you come.
This is meant as mussar, but I am taking it in a different vain. To know who someone is, one of the most telling things is to know where that person comes from.
It's a b'fairushe Lion King, when Rafiki looks at Simba and says, "I know who you are." He doesn't say you are Simba. His next line is "You Mufasa boy".
Over the last few years I have truly come to realize that I come from incredible "stock". I don't know what I did in a previous life, but I must have done something right to be blessed with two such unbelievable parents as I was. Each very different, but each unbelievably special in their own way. Both were Holocaust survivors, although taking VERY different paths to get through it and get here.
I was not the first child born in the family, and there is a gap between me and my older siblings. I guess I lucked out, I have the advantage of allowing my parents a few more years to settle into their own and discover themselves as individuals and parents before I came along. My siblings and I often joke about the fact that we had two sets of parents. Mine being the older, further removed from the horrors and guilt of surviving the Holocaust, and consequently more laid back and tolerant ones. I also had the privilege of being alone in the house much of the time growing up which allowed me private time to study my parents and glean from each of their incredible traits. It's amazing because as a child I remember my father working very hard and not being around much, yet he definitely managed to make his mark.
My father was always a man of action, never one to sit still. If something needed to be done, he was always the man. I believe this is a major difference between our generation and theirs. We sit around trying to figure out how to do something, they just DID it. Whereas most people today don't do anything without fanfare, many of his actions remain unknown until this day other than to him and the person for whom he did it. Many of his actions my mother never even knew about. Not because he hid them from her, but because he didn't see these things as something to talk about. To him they were no big deal.
He was always one of the friendliest men in shul and in the community. So many people have told me that when they first moved to the community, he was the first (if not, only) person, to go over and greet them, no matter what the age difference was. How often do I remember from my childhood, my father just bringing someone home from shul, and my mother adding an extra setting in such a way that the uninvited guest didn't notice and it seemed as if there had been a place for him/her before he even arrived. As if they had been expected after all.
Due to the interruption of the war, his torah education was somewhat stunted, but he maintained a respect for torah and rabbanim and encouraged us to get a profession, but learn as well. He set very high standards for us, but he did it in a loving way so that I was eager to please, not anxious to rebel. It was always abundantly clear that there is NOTHING that he wouldn't do for us.
Everything that was done, was done with a cheshbon. We don't always know what that cheshbon is, but he does, and it seems to be working.
My mother was the akeres habayis. She did things in a much quieter way, but her actions still spoke louder than words. It amazed me that she never appeared to have (m)any close friends, yet when any woman in the neighborhood needed advice, it was my mother that they called.
She was always a very humble woman, always believing the best in anybody. She was always dan l'kaf zchus to unimaginable degrees. For herself however she demanded no kavod. It always blew me away how once I was married, when I would go over or call her to wish her a good year and ask mechila, before I managed to get the words out, SHE would ask ME for mechila.
Believe me, I could probably continue writing for days and compile pages and pages, but Yom Tov is rapidly approaching and it's just about time to end this blog.
I just hope I gave you a sneak peek into who AFI is and where he came from.

Good Yom Tov!

Silence

2006-10-11T14:52:00.000-04:00

A little while ago I found myself in an interesting situation. It was a Shabbos afternoon and I discovered my daughter alone in her bed and crying. After wading through the tears, I discovered that my daughter was insulted by someone close to her. The problem that I faced, was that the other person wasn't wrong. What she had said about my daughter may have been hurtful for my daughter to hear, but ultimately she was right.
My mind started racing. What should I do? I can't turn to blogworld and ask for advice, it was shabbos after all. If I say that the other person shouldn't have said that, my intention may have been that THAT PERSON should not have said it, but what my daughter would have heard is, that she didn't do anything that merited the admontion that she received, which was not the case. She was clearly not up to a long detailed discussion about things yet either.
Siyata Dishmaya set in. I said nothing. I just crawled into her bed with her and hugged her and held her tight. We stayed like that for a few minutes, maybe even five. My daughter, by then, had already stopped crying. She pulled away slightly. Wiped away the tears. Looked me square in the eyes and said "Abba, you're the BEST!". She then hugged me and ran back off to play.
Sometimes I guess the saying is true, Silence is Golden - Siyag L'Chochmo, Shtika.

Holidays by the Numbers

2006-10-09T11:09:00.000-04:00

In Mussaf on Yom Kippur, we detail the Avodah that the Kohein Gadol does in the Bais Hamikdash. This is the ultimate in Olam, Nefesh and Zman - the three dimensions, Time, Space and Soul. The Kohein Gadol is the holiest man doing the avodah in the Bais Hamikdash/Kodesh Hakodoshim which is the holiest place, on Yom Kippur which is the holiest time.
Part of the Avodah involves the sprinkling of the blood. We go into detail, and, in fact, the entire congregation chants along with the chazan counting, one, one and one, one and two, one and three, etc. until, finally, one and seven. What is this one and what is the seven and why are they kept separate?
If you read my number explanation posts and if you still remember them, one is Hashem and ONLY Hashem and seven is hashgacha or Hashem's "natural" appearance in this world. It can also be said that the seven is the way in which man can utilize the seven sefiros and emulate G-d. This is a somewhat simple explanation for the one and the seven and why they are separate.
Looking more deeply, the one represents Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is referred to in the Torah as "Achas" Bashana - the one time a year. The seven represents Succos. For many reasons. Succos is the one holiday that is seven days both in Eretz Yisrael and chutz laaretz. On Succos we also celebrate the harvesting of the sheva minim - seven species for which Israel is known. Again, why seven? With planting and farming etc. we have the likliest situation to believe "kochi v'otzem yadi" - I did it, with the power of my own hands, but we have to remember, seven, hashgacha, it's Hashem's way of appearing to us in a "natural" manner. Whatever successes we have come from Him.
The final seven is in the naanuim, when we shaked the lulav. We shake it in all six directions, left, right, forward, back, up and down (not necessarily in that order). In the first pasuk however, there are seven words, and in the second, there are four but we shake two directions for every word (in the pasuk of Ana Hashem), leaving one word left over in both instances. Which word? Hashem. Why? Because although the hashgacha is there, Hashem is there, but in this world, he still remains somewhat hidden. Ze shmi lolam, which is written without a vav and can be read and understood as hidden (in this world).
When the one and the seven are achieved to perfection, they combine to make eight, the supernatural, shimini atzeres. On each of the days of succos we bring one less cow as a korbon, culminating on the last day with .... you guessed it... seven cows. On Shmimi Atzeres, we only bring one. Because that's all we need. If we do OUR avodah properly, then by Shmini Atzeres we can be one with Hashem and only need to bring one cow as a korbon.

(P.S. Other than the title, the book has nothing to do with the post. Then again, there's something very appropriate about that title for a book of that content)

Relationships

2006-09-28T15:45:00.000-04:00

In the middle of the Al Chaits we say "Slach Lanu, Mchal Lanu, Kaper Lanu". We say three different versions of "forgive us". Why the three different versions?
The simple answer that is generally brought down is that one is to forgive three different types of sins, one for accidental sins, one for intentional sins and one for sins of a rebellious nature. There is some discussion about which one is for which.
Today I heard what I think is an amazing answer that seems to fit so perfectly.
Our relationship with Hashem resembles one of three examples. parent-child, king/master-servant/subject and finally that of husband and wife.
The biggest sin or crime that a child can commit towards the parent is forgetting the parent. During our formative years, we can't do anything for ourselves, we rely completely on our parents, and all that we ask is that we not forget them. We probably all still remember, one of the worst things a child can do is forget to call the parent to let them know that they arrived somewhere. We look to Hashem as our father, avinu shebashamayim. We are guilty of forgetting him. He gives us the month of Elul to remedy that situation. As we say in L'dovid during the month of Elul, Kee avi v'imi azavuni. We felt abandoned and in turn "forgot" about our father. We forget Hashem because we put ourselves first. For that, we ask forgiveness when we say slach lanu. Slach is the same letters as chasol which means to cover over. We are asking Hashem's help in covering our ego. As we say daily, slach lanu avinu kee chatanu. Kee anu vanecha, v'ata avinu.
The worst sin or crime that a servant can commit towards the king is rebellion or disobedience. We also know of hashem as our melech, our king. With every sin, we fail to give Hashem the respect He deserves. He has a grand plan, but we choose to do our own thing, because in our narrow(minded) eyes, it's more important. In return, what does He give us? Rosh Hashana. The day that we remember, "Zeh Hayom Techilas Maasecha" This is the day that Hashem created the world. This is the yearly anniversary of the coronation of Hashem as King of Kings. What better day to re-remember him. That is the entire tafkid of Rosh Hashana. We make very few if any requests for ourselves on Rosh Hashana, the main thing that we daven for is "V'yitnu lcha kesser melucha" we pray for the return to glory of Hashem's kingship. For that, we ask forgiveness when we say mchal lanu. Mchal is the same letters as chamol which means to have mercy. As we say daily, mchal lanu malkeinu kee fashanu. kee anu avadecha v'ata adonainu.
Finally, we relate to Hashem as a spouse. What's the worst crime that one spouse can commit toward the other? Insensitivity. (all other thing flow or stem from that). If/when we only pay half attention to our spouses, or even if we throw out the casual "I love you" without meaning, or failing to recognize when something is bothering them, those are the worst crimes. How often do we do that to Hashem? Even when we do his mitzvos, are we paying attention? Are we doing it out of rote or do we do it because that's what He wants and how HE wants us to do them? In the tochacha it says why will this fall upon you, because you did the mitzvos without simcha/happiness. The mitvos weren't neglected, they just weren't done with the right intentions and attentions. Yom Kippur is the day of forgiveness for this.
For that, we ask forgiveness when we say kaper lanu. Kaper means to totally cleanse, as we know in a marriage even when there is forgiveness, the scars often remain. Comments made years prior are still always remembered even if they are forgiven. For that we need kapara to wipe the slate completely clean. It also explains why Yom Kippur is brought down as a day of shidduchim. It's a day of the re-uniting of chosson and kallah. kee anu raayasecha, v'ata dodainu.
May we all be zocheh to strengthen our relationships with our loved ones and with our father, our king, our beloved Hashem

Gemar Chasima Tova to one and all.

Erev Rosh Hashana

2006-09-22T09:38:00.000-04:00

The hour is late, but there is still time for one last post this year, but I will attempt to be brief. I am telling over this story the way I heard it, but there may be some discrepancies. I am not vouching for all of the details, just the message.

There is a chasidishe story about a rebbe who was normally very happy, but happened to have been down. It was Chanukah and he couldn't bring himself to even light the Menorah. His gabbai tried pleading with him, but to no avail. Finally he opened the door to leave and someone, a tall man, caught the rebbe's eye and he called him into his private office. The man was nervous, but came to see the rebbe. The rebbe asked him how tall he was, and he told him. The rebbe then asked how tall his wife was, and the man told the rebbe that his wife was really short. The rebbe then asked him if he kisses his wife. The man was startled and thought that the rebbe "lost it" but answered yes. The rebbe asked "how?". After a hesitation and who knows what else going through his mind, the man said that he bends over, leans down and kisses his wife. The rebbe started to get excited and asked, is that all?what about your wife? what does she do? The man answered, when I bend down to her, she stands on her tippy toes and reaches up to me. The rebbe was so happy he was practically jumping for joy. The gabbai asked for an explanation and the rebbe explained that he was down because who was he to do mitzvos. why does Hashem needs his mitzvos, he's so imperfect and worthless. When he saw the tall man it occurred to him.... Hashem reaches down to us, our just is not to be perfect as much as it is to do our best. To stand on our tiptoes and reach up to him.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a chsiva vachasima tova and a good, happy, healthy and sweet year filled with hatzlacha, gezunt, parnasa and nachas.

If I offended or upset anyone this year, I would like to ask mechila for anything that I may have said, typed or done, or some cases, not said typed or done (sometimes that's even a bigger crime).

Finally, I would like to thank you for reading my blog and I hope it had a positive effect on you in some way.

Shana Tova to you and your families!

Near Tragedy

2006-09-18T11:39:00.000-04:00

Five years ago today (in English). The first day of Rosh Hashana. The first day of 5762. The world still reeling in the aftermath of 9/11. Davening in shul. The Rav speaks before Tekias Shofar. Start saying Lamnatzeach. Once.... twice.... was that three or four? Why is someone tapping me on the shoulder? Why now? What do they want NOW? I'm trying to concentrate on the Lamnatzeachs. Next thing I know, Hatzala is whisking me home in an ambulance. They won't even tell me what's wrong. Oh my G-d! Oh my G-d! I race into the house. She's conscious. She looks over at me. I hope she's ok. Please G-d let her be ok.
My stomach doing unbelievable flip-flops. Reality setting in.
Oh my G-d!
Off she goes in the ambulance. Walking back to shul. What do I tell the others? What do I say? What do I do? So many questions. Don't want to face the questions now. At the moment, NO answers.....
Mussaf. Shmoneh Esrai. What do I do? How am I supposed to daven? How can I daven now? How can I do anything else BUT daven now? My face buried deep in the siddur. Tears flowing freely now. The words I have said thousands of times before, won't come out. I NEED to daven now. I NEED things to be ok. What a struggle.... "Hashem Sefasai Tiftach....." without YOUR help Hashem, to open my lips, I can't pray before you and beg YOU, and only you, for your help.
Sooo ironic.
PLEASE help. PLEASE!!!

BH, the help was there, what came close to being an unspeakable tragedy is now BH nothing more than a very scary memory. Then came the thinking. The analyzations. The questions. More questions. The strongest being why? why??? What did we do wrong to deserve this near tragedy, and on, of all days, Rosh Hashana itself. Perhaps the most important question, what did we do right for which we were rewarded with the fact that it was only a NEAR tragedy and disaster was averted. Questions that remain until this day. Answers that won't be revealed in this world. At the end of the day, only one thing to say: "Modim anachnu lach Hashem Elokainu....."

The Hole in the Sheet

2006-09-13T14:41:00.000-04:00

Years ago the mother of one of my friends was so frustrated with the plight of the woman in our frum society that she joked that she was going to write a book about the plight of the frum woman and title the book "The Hole in the Sheet".
I had heard her gripes and the gripes of some female fellow jbloggers but having been male most, if not all, of my life, I could never really relate.
I would always try and give the arguments about how wonderful a woman's role is, and how it's different but equally important. While I still agree with daas torah and my stance on daas vs. binah, etc. a recent situation has made me feel a little of what these women are upset about, and are justified in their opinions.
A young woman that I know was in a bad marriage and after a fairly short time both sides agreed that the marriage would not last. The couple separated with every intention of getting divorced. I have my opinions, but that's all they are, opinions, so I won't get into the who's right and who's wrong arguments. All I will say is that the boy's side are wealthy multi-millionaires and are extorting money from the near penniless girl's side as a pre-condition before giving a get. They are insisting that the girl's father mortgage his house (pretty much his only worldly possession) to add to the boy's side's already overflowing coffers. The boy's family even went so far as to say, "we're in no rush, but we know that HER biological clock is ticking". DISGUSTING!!!!!!
Why would they do this? Simply put, because they can. Halachically, a woman is often treated as property, comparable to a horse or a piece of furniture.
Where are our gedolim to prevent such situations??? I can't imagine that this is what our chachomim had in mind. It just can't be. It just can't be :-(

What is Love? (Part II)

2006-09-08T11:15:00.000-04:00

(Tevye)
Golde...
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I what?

(Tevye)
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion

(Tevye)
"Golde I'm asking you a question..."

Do you love me?

(Golde)
You're a fool

(Tevye)
"I know..."

But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

(Tevye)
Golde, The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared

(Golde)
I was shy

(Tevye)
I was nervous

(Golde)
So was I

(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?

(Golde)
I'm your wife

(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought him, starved with him
Twenty-five years my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?

(Tevye)
Then you love me?

(Golde)
I suppose I do

(Tevye)
And I suppose I love you too

(Both)
It change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know

How can love be defined? Obviously it's not something that can be defined in concrete terms and the act of giving is definitely a major part of it. However, we give to friends as well, so giving may lead to love, but I wouldn't say that it defines it or could be used as a measuring stick.
I was thinking about this over the last few weeks, and what I have come up with as a defining factor is selfless giving. Most times when we give or do something we are thinking about what we will get back in return or how we benefit from that act. Love (IMHO) means giving without requiring anything to be gained by the act other than the pure happiness of the recipient. If we are satisfied with that and that alone, that's a true indication of love.
How is that measured though? I believe that sacrifice plays a role here. Look above at what Golde tells Tevye, she cooked for him, washed the clothes, milked the cows, etc. Do you think she necessarily enjoyed doing those things? Most likely not, but she continued doing them. why? because she loved him.
This also fits in well with our love for Hashem. We are given 613 commandments by Him. Not all of them are "fun", they come with some work, effort and sacrifice. We may not want to get up early to go to shul, we may be tempted not to keep kosher, etc. but we make sacrifices. why? Because we love Hashem and keeping his mitzvos is what makes Him happy. That's how we give to Him.
I know it's still hard to measure, but let me give you an example, and you will perhaps understand why I've been thinking about this lately. I went swimming with my family this past weekend. A toe in the pool test proved the water to be excruciatingly cold, there was no way I was going in. I was content to sit next to the pool and read, enjoying the last sun rays of the summer. My little one however wanted to go in the water and could not go in without someone in the pool to supervise. After a half hour of attempts, plea bargains etc., I realized I was wasting my breath. I had no choice. I wanted my little one to be happy, and this is what would make her happy. I took a running start and jumped into the pool. Other than frostbite, I gained nothing by this act other than seeing the look of sheer happiness on my little one's freezing wet face.
Trust me, I am quite sure I would not have done that for anybody else. Lesser sacrifices, perhaps, but if you remember from one of my earlier posts.............. I love my daughter.

Love....

2006-09-05T09:20:00.000-04:00

We love our spouses, our kids, our parents and our siblings. We are commanded to love Hashem.
How do we define love? How do we determine if we love someone? what does love mean? how is it quantified? what's the yardstick?
I have my thoughts, but I want to hear yours first.......

Vacation

2006-08-30T08:54:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's true. I can't deny it. I was on vacation.

Where I went is not important, well, it is to me, but not for this post.

The most important thing and the best part of my time away was the ability to spend solid quality time with my family. You can't put a price on that.

Contrary to what Madonna says, time goes by .... so quickly. We need to take advantage. Each of our children is different and deserving our attention, and I don't know about you, but when I am working and home and involved with the usual distractions of life, it's much harder to concentrate on the important things.

I am grateful that I had that opportunity and that I took advantage of it!

Elul

2006-08-28T08:43:00.000-04:00

Harav Sholom Shvadron's rebbe, Reb Leib Chasman, used to get up and give his drasha, this time of year, say the word Elul, and faint.

TAG ---- I'm finally IT....

2006-08-14T17:57:00.000-04:00

As much as I tried avoiding it, I got tagged by both Chaverah and FrumGirl , so here goes.... still somewhat of a work in progress.....

Things I want to do before dying:

Travel the world (and the seven seas)
Find world peace
See my kids establish themselves
Finish shas
Make peace with my maker

Things I can not do:

Snap using the fingers on my right hand
Hide my feelings/emotions
Sing (OK, I can sing, but not well)
Drive consistently under the speed limit
Betray a friend
Speak Chinese

Things I can do:

Listen
Give
Keep secrets
Play competitive sports
Snore really loudly

What attracted me to my spouse:

Her kind, caring and giving nature
Her eyes

Things I say most often:

well hello there
interesting
no way
I’m confused (although, I think I’ve stopped saying that)
……….
What do you mean you haven’t read my blog yet????

Authors of books that I enjoy reading:

Dan Brown
Brad Meltzer
James Patterson
Joel Rosenberg
Greg Iles (my new favorite author)

Movies that I love:

Lion King
Dead Poets Society
Rat Race
The Usual Suspects
Arlington Road

I tag: hmmmmmmm, has ANYONE not done this yet?
Jameel , Kasamba , Masmida , and TOWIK

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 108

2006-08-08T20:08:00.000-04:00

Who knows EIGHT?
I know EIGHT.
Eight are the days of the milah.

The difference between seven and eight is that seven is the spiritual manifestation of Hashem in this world in a way resembling "nature" or natural, "derech hateva". Eight is the force of Hashem in this world that violates and overcomes and overpowers "nature", the presence of Hashem that is supernatural, "l'maala min hateva" above nature. That's the connection to the days of the milah. We take an eight day old child that cannot do anything and we "overpower" him and do this mitzva for him. If you think about it, a baby boy should be born complete, but he's not, he's born with something extra that we have to remove to perfect him, and create within him a new reality. That is not natural, it's above nature.
It would also seem to be that this would be a reflection of someone who was born on a corresponding day. If someone was born on the seventh day of the seventh month that person would seemingly be a very spiritual person but in a natural way, whereas someone born on the eighth day of the eighth month would be more supernaturally spiritual, and this would probably apply in some way to the other months as well.
The miracle of Chanukah did not take place in the natural course of events. It was supernatural, that's why we have eight days of Chanukah and eight candles that we light on the Chanukah menorah. On Yom Kippur, the Kohein Gadol does sprinkle seven below as mentioned last time, but he also sprinkles one above. The seven plus one, the eight, is the supernatural. Shmini Atzeres is brought down in Chazal as one of the holiest of holidays to connect to Hashem, it's on the eighth day. As David pointed out in his comment on #7, chazal tell us that the harp of mashiach, which is how the harmony will be played in the days to come, will have eight strings and consequently, we will then have eight musical notes.
The Torah is representation of the supernatural. When did we receive it, after seven full weeks, on the first day of the eighth week, we received the Torah. David Hamelech wrote the longest perek of tehillim, about the Torah. He constructed it with 176 pesukim, eight pesukim for each letter of the aleph bais. Why eight for each? Because the Torah is supernatural. The number 22 * 8 = 176 is of significance because the longest parsha, Naso, has 176 pesukim, and the longest mesechta, bava basra, has 176 dafim. Again proving that numbers are NOT a coincidence.
I recently stumbled onto an interesting discovery. There are certain perakim of tehillim that we tend to say when we are looking for (sometimes supernatural) salvation whether it's for eretz yisrael or for a sick person. The main ones that we say whether it's perek 121, 130 or 142...... each of them has eight pesukim.

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 107

2006-08-07T07:07:00.000-04:00

Who knows SEVEN?
I know SEVEN.
Seven are the days of the week.

As discussed last time, six is reality and we see six dimensions, but we believe that there is one more. A seventh dimension. The Maharal explains it as a room. In a room, there are four walls, a ceiling, a floor, and an interior space which makes seven. That seventh dimension is the presence of G-d in this material world. Some call it nature, randomness or luck. There's a reason that there's a saying, "Lucky number seven". They call it luck. We call it Hashgacha/Yad Hashem.
Because it's a representation of spiritual in the physical world, the number seven is a holy number. That's what the days of the week and Shabbos represent. We work for six days, and the seventh day, Shabbos, is not just a spiritual day, but even though we officially do nothing on that day, as the gemara says "minay mitbarchin kula yoma" from Shabbos comes the bracha for the rest of the week.
Which mitzva is Shabbos? It's the 32nd mitzva in the Torah. 32 is the gematria of "lev"/heart, Shabbos/number seven is at the heart of all the mitzvos and the entire universe.
In addition to Shabbos, Pesach and Sukos are seven days long (in EY), there are seven heavens, seven sefiros, seven brachos at a chupa, seven years of shmitta and seven shmitta cycles in a yoveil. Dovid, the first king of Yehudah, was the seventh son and the seventh generation (I'm still trying to figure out what that means). What I do know is that malchus is the seventh of the sefiros. Erev Shavuos is malchus she'b'malchus. Consequently, as mentioned before relating Aharon to the number five, in the ushpizins, Dovid Hamelech is the seventh. Dovid is the one who was beloved to Hashem. "Ani Tefilla". There are seven musical notes (strings of David's harp). Tishrei, the month with the most and holiest of our holidays, is the seventh month. On Yom Kippur, the Kohein Gadol sprinkles the blood seven times. In the Bais Hamikdash, there were seven cups on the menorah (I spelled it with the "h" so that it would have seven letters). There were three on each side facing the one in the middle which miraculously never went out.
On Sukos, when we shake the lulav and esrog by the pasuk of Hodu laHashem kee tov, we shake in all six directions, but there are seven words in the pasuk, the seventh word is Hashem and when saying Hashem's name we don't shake the lulav at all. This symbolizes our recognition that there is a seventh dimension that we know is there, and is everywhere. We know it exists but we can't pinpoint it or point to it.
We have to make our best efforts in this world, but we also have to understand that ultimately, the end result is all in Hashem's hands. "Man tracht, Gut lacht" Man plans and G-d laughs. That, I believe, is also the connection to the corresponding hebrew letter to the number seven, the letter zayin, which happens to be the letter that reprents the male. The word zayin or zan has two meanings. Klai zayin are tools or weapons of war, and to be zan means to provide food for. These are the two primary roles associated with men. These are also two of the most prime examples of the concept that we were just discussing, that man has to put forth his best efforts, but ultimately, the results are all b'yad Hashem.

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 106

2006-08-04T06:06:00.000-04:00

Who knows SIX?
I know SIX.
Six are the books of the Mishnah.

We have established that the numbers one through five were powers or forces that exist in the world. Now we start on the second set of five. The number six therefore, is the first number that is physical and real and somewhat tangible.
The Torah is beautiful and spiritual and theoretical, but it's not practical. We are told to wear tefillin, but what are tefillin? We are told that we must rest on shabbos, but how do you define rest? If you follow the Torah literally, you are a tziduki and not a frum Jew. It's only when the Mishnah comes around explains the Torah into physical reality that we can follow it. The Mishnah tells us that tefillin are back boxes with straps that have parshiyos written in them. It's the Mishnah that teaches us the 39 melachos of shabbos and what constitutes violating rest. The number six is taking the theoretical and making it real.
There are three dimensions in space, but we can't see them. There are two sides though to every dimension, which makes six sides in the physical world: up, down and all four sides. Similarly, in time, (and btw, the Maharal wrote about the connection between space and time and the continuum over 600 years ago. Well before Einstein) there are three dimensions, past, present and future, they too have two sides which translate into the six days of the week (obviously leaving shabbos out, for now).
Which letter corresponds to the number six? The letter "vav". Vav is a line, and literally means a hook. The vav, the six is the hook that connects that spiritual world with the reality of our physical world. I don't think it's any coincidence that the number six is the first answer that is a by-product of man and not Hashem.

Reflections on Tisha B'Av/Shabbos Nachamu

2006-08-02T10:50:00.000-04:00

I was reflecting on Tisha B'Av this year and remembering last Tisha B'Av, where I was and where we were as a klal. After Kinus until chatzos, and then early Mincha, my wife and I went to Manhattan to join in the rally on behalf of our brothers in Gush Katif. Once again today, Israel is very much in the news. Thank G-d, this year, I think we are in a better position than last year. Last year, it was Jew vs. Jew. Sinas Chinam at its finest (unfortunately). BH, this year, Jews in Israel and the world are united. Opinion polls in Israel have never EVER been so one-sided, hopefully this is a sign of good things to come. Ahavas Chinam undoing the Sinas Chinam.
The fact that we figured so prominently in the news both years made me think.....

If we look at the haftoros of the seven weeks between Tisha B'Av and Rosh Hashana, they follow an interesting pattern. The first is "Nachamu, nachamu ami, yomar elokaichem". Hashem tells the bnei yisrael through the navi that they should be consoled. What is the next haftora, klal yisrael answers, "vatomer tzion azavani Hashem, VaHashem shaichani" Hashem has forsaken and forgotten us. Next comes "aniyah soara, lo nuchama" Hashem talks to the inconsolable one (bnei yisrael) and then "anochi anochi hu menachemchem" Hashem says I will console you and then "rani akara lo yalada" Hashem is telling us to sing, "kumi ori ke va oraich" Rise and shine for your light has arrived and then we say "sos asis baHashem". What was the difference between nachamu nachamu ami and anochi anochi hu menachemchem? The Rambam writes that any nevuah that comes through a navi cannot be reversed. Why? Because there needs to be a way to test a navi and see if he is a real navi or a navi sheker. A negative nevuah can be reversed through teshuva, but a positive one cannot be reversed. In contrast, we see by Yaakov Avinu that Hashem made certain promises directly to Yaakov and Yaakov was concerned, "katontee mikol hachasadim" he was afraid that he might have sinned and therefore undone Hashem's promise. The difference is that there is no need to (chas v'shalom) test Hashem and therefore if he says something directly it can be reversed, but if it's said through a navi it can't be. Now we can understand, Hashem originally said through the navi, in third person, you will be consoled. This is an iron clad guarantee, you can take it to the bank. Klal Yisrael responded and said, that's nice, but we don't want guarantees. We want YOU Hashem. When Hashem himself in first person said I will console you, then klal yisrael was happy and rejoiced.
Every jewish child is taught that the keruvim in the bais hamikdash were miraculous. When Klal Yisrael was doing the will of Hashem the keruvim were facing each other. When they were sinning, and opposing the will of Hashem, the keruvim were facing apart. One would think that while the bais hamikdash was being destroyed they were obviously facing apart, but that's incorrect. When the Romans entered the kodesh hakodoshim, they found the keruvim intertwined in a tight embrace.
We don't say tachanun on Tisha B'Av or during the Mincha before, because Tisha B'Av is a moed, loosely translated as a holiday. This is hard to understand. How and why would we call it a holiday? The answer is that the word moed comes from the root/shoresh, vaad. Vaad is a meeting. What is a meeting? A meeting can be good or a meeting can be bad, but one thing that we know for sure is that a meeting is a meeting. On Tisha B'Av good or bad, Hashem is in our midst. He is very much here with us (even more so than usual). Similar to the way Hashem was with us even though He was punishing us and evicting us from his holy "House" here on earth. Like a father who punishes his child, even as Hashem was punishing us, he was hugging and consoling us, making sure we knew that he still loves us.
Through the At-Bash method we connect the first night of Pesach with Tisha B'Av (the second night to Shavuous, etc). The practical results are that the first night of Pesach will always fall out on the same day of the week as Tisha B'Av of that year. We also eat a hard boiled egg at the seder and one of the reasons is because of the Pesach-Tisha B'Av connection and zecher l'churban, etc. I'd like to add my own thought. Any gezaira shava, any comparison is a two way street, not just one. The same way as on Pesach we remember the churban because of Tisha B'Av, I think it's important that on Tisha B'Av we also remember Pesach and the aspect of geula. Chazal tells us that Mashiach is/was born on Tisha B'Av.
I would like to request of my readers that everyone should do or take on one thing, one "chumra" this Tisha B'Av that they never have before. If we mourn and do our avoda and tikun/kinut properly may Hashem grant us his promise that we will merit to see the consoling and rejoicing in the rebuilding of the bais hamikdash and yerushalayim, bimheira byameinu, AMEN!

Al Aileh Ani Bochiya

2006-08-01T08:34:00.000-04:00

After the Bais Hamikdash was destroyed, the gemara tells us that the chachamim were so distraught over the loss of the bais hamikdash that they wanted to prohibit the eating of meat and the drinking of wine. The gemara is not discussing the nine days, the chachamim wanted to prohibit meat and wine until mashiach came. Luckily for us, one of the tannaim came with an argument that caused them to re-think it, but the original thought was there.
Where is that passion today? Where is that longing for the bais hamikdash and the geula?
You might say, well, that was when the loss was still fresh in their minds, and to some degree that's true. In sefer Ezra it's written, that the day of the dedication of the second bais hamikdash was a day of great joy and crying. The younger generation was thrilled and overjoyed, but the older generation that lived to see the first bais hamikdash and saw and recognized that the second was not on the same level of the first, they cried.
Rav Hutner once said, the difference between Yom Kippur and Tisha B'Av is that on Yom Kippur, ver daft essen (who needs to eat) and on Tisha B'Av, ver ken essen (who can bring themselves to eat). Rav Hutner didn't live that long ago. He was from the previous generation, the 20th century, and yet he felt it. Why don't we?
There is a machlokes as to whether or not Tisha B'Av was observed as a fast day during the time when the second bais hamikdash was standing. The consensus seems to be that they did indeed fast on Tisha B'Av. HaRav Soloveitchik says that it was a day of tefila being that it was a day destined for tragedy, even though the bais hamikdash had been rebuilt, it was important to pray and cry to prevent future tragedies as well. As I heard Rabbi Moshe Weinberger say, anyone that survived the Holocaust is eternally scarred and every event and decision in their life is influenced by those experiences.
Where is that emotion? What happened to us to make us so stone cold?
Most people that I observe look for the easy ways out, the kulos not the chumros. You can listen to music, as long as it's not live. You can take a shower because you take one every day. You can shave because you go to work. You can eat meat because you went to a siyum. You can go swimming because it's really hot. The list of rationalizations are endless. I am not chas v'shalom disputing the kulos that people have. If you go to a siyum you can eat meat, etc., I'm not denying that, my point is, why is that the angle we look for? Why is it that most people look to daven in the shul that says the shortest kinus? I was in one shul which starts at 8 AM and has over a hundred mispallelim, and by chatzos when they finish, they barely have a minyan. Where is everybody rushing off to? Working on Tisha B'Av, hmmmm, of course, it helps pass the day.
We are taught that Kol Hamisabel al Yerushalayim Roeh Bnechemasa. How many of us are truly misabel? How many of us sleep on the floor, as is brought in chazal? Why don't we try, for one day a year to seek out the chumros not the kulos? Our job is to take the KINUT and turn it into a TIKUN. If we do that, may we all merit to see the building of the third bais hamikdash, bimheira b'yamaynu, amein!

Thoughts from Parshas Devarim/Shabbas Chazon

2006-07-28T11:22:00.000-04:00

We begin Sefer Devarim this week with Parshas Devarim. The sefer is one of tochachah, of mussar, so it's fitting that Moshe Rabeinu begins with giving mussar to klal yisrael. The Megaleh Amukos says that the first word of the sefer, "AiLeH" stands for Avak Lashon Hara. He quotes a gemara in Bava Basra that describes the bnai yisrael and says "ruban b'gzeila, miutan b'gilui arayos, v'KULAN b'lashon hara". Very scary statement. So the Megala Amukos points out that the pasuk says "Aileh hadevarim asher diber moshe el KOL yisrael". If he was giving mussar to ALL of them, it had to be about Lashon Hara, maybe not lashon hara, but at least avak lashon hara. what is the root of avak lashon hara? chazal tell us, sinas chinam. Without (at least) some, small, minute amount of sinas chinam, even avak lashon hara wouldn't be possible. Parshas Devarim is always the shabbos before tisha b'av, which commemorates the day on which the bais hamikdash was destroyed, and why? because of sinas chinam. The connection is, unfortunately, perfect.

The question has always come up, the first bais hamikdash was destroyed because of avoda zara, shfichas damim and gilui arayos. The big three. That makes sense. That churban only lasted 70 years. The second bais hamikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam almost TWO THOUSAND years ago. The fact that sinas chinam was reason enough to destroy the bais hamikdash is pretty shocking, but enough to keep us in galus for two thousand years, is mind boggling.
Years ago I spent a shabbos with an african american ger tzedek. He is a truly amazing person. I hardly slept that shabbos, I was tied to his every word to soak up what he had to say. At one point, he turns to me, and out of nowhere, mentions the question I just raised. He said, he couldn't understand it, until a few years prior. He went on to say that he is an extremely calm, patient and mild mannered person. It takes a lot to get him angry, but there is one thing that gets under his skin and causes him to erupt more than anything else. It's when his kids are fighting with each other, particularly for no good reason. I think any parent with more than one child or any child that had at least one sibling can relate. He looks at me, and says, that's what sinas chinam is to Hashem. It's two of his children fighting for no real reason. I just stood there in awe. So simple, so brilliant.
Good Shabbos!

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 105

2006-07-27T05:55:00.000-04:00

Who knows FIVE?
I know FIVE.
Five are the book of the Torah

In Numerology 104 we established that the number four corresponds to the power of potential that was given to man. The hebrew letter representing the number four is the daled. The letter that represents the number five, is the heh. What is a heh? It's a daled with a little yud in the corner. what is a yud? a yud, we said was spirituality. The number five is the power to take the force of potential, the power of four, and wrap it all together to bring it back to the source, i.e. higher spirituality. If you look at perspective, what is it? four corners and then one more dot pulled back. It's the same thing. Nothing else defines this concept like the Torah. The Torah is the tool and the blueprint with which we have an understanding of how to tap into our potential and make it more spiritual.
What are the fives that we see in this world? We have five senses. There are five components to the neshama. Most glaring is our fingers. If you look closely, there are actually four fingers, and one, the thumb that points back. That is the power of five.
Our fingers and toes are both two sets of five. the luchos are two sets of five. and what is the fifth commandment on the luchos? kibud av va'em. again, looking back to spirituality recognizing that our parents are one step closer to creation and har sinai than we are, and honoring them for that reason.

I had heard that Aharon Hakohein is representative of the number five and how appropriate it is that he is the number five, being that he is the one who was the first to bring karbanos. As the Kohein Gadol, he is the perfect example of elevating the potential and making it spiritual. I have been trying to figure out though why he is the number five. Here are my thoughts....
Even though Aharon Hakohein wasn't zocheh to enter into eretz yisrael and do the avodah in the bais hamikdash, as the first kohein gadol to do the avodah, it's considered as if he did the avodos in the bais hamikdash itself. We know that on Yom Kippur in the Bais Hamikdash, the Kohein Gadol changed clothes fives times, and was tovel in the mikva before each change, so he was tovel five times, and he washed his hands and feet ten times (two sets of five). I seem to recall somewhere in the Yom Kippur davening where the Kohein Gadol is referring based on these fives.
In the ushpizins on Succos, according to many, if not most, Aharon is number five: Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon. In addition, the Bais Hamikdash was referred to as "hod", which because of the Kohein's avodah, translates to Aharon, therefore Aharon is described as "hod" as well. Hod is the fifth sefira: chesed, gevura, tiferes, netzach, hod.
Lag Baomer, perhaps as an aside, is hod she'b'hod or maybe that too makes sense because we are commemorating the yahrtzeit of harav shimon bar yochai, who elevated the world to an incredible level of spirituality.

So what we've established so far is, one = unity, two = opposing forces, three = balance, four = potential and now five = using the potential for spirituality to return to the one. One through five is bascially the cycle of life. The rest of the numbers are based on these original five.

I hate to use a die for this, because of what it "represents", but picture this as 3-D with the middle point drawn back... it reflects the perspective concept I referred to above.

Candyman

2006-07-24T11:44:00.000-04:00

I saw a post on Jameel's blog recently with a sign campaigning for someone who was "running" for the position of shul candyman. I have been in shuls where the rights to be candyman get sold on Simchas Torah, and sadly it often goes for more than chasan torah and chasan braishis combined. It reminded me of an amazing story of a very different candyman.
There was a man who was niftar almost two years ago who had been the candyman for years in the shul in which I grew up. I had always assumed that he did it because he liked kids, was a giving person, and liked seeing kids smiling. By his shiva, his wife revealed otherwise. She remembers him coming home from shul one shabbos bemoaning the fact that "kids these days don't have the midos that we were taught in Europe", "kids these days don't have an appreciation and respect for the older generation". He made a decision right then and there that he was going to do something about it. He was going to become the candyman.
There were rules though. This was not just a candyman, this was a candyman on a mission. You couldn't just approach him and get a candy. You had to come over and say "good shabbos", and respectfully request a candy (you had to say please). You would get a candy and then say your "thank you", until you said it, you weren't allowed to leave. It was all done with the biggest smile you could possibly imagine. I have no idea upon how many kids he made a lasting impression. He was one of the most loved and admired people I have ever met in my entire life. yehi zichro baruch.
It's amazing how with such a simple act... you can accomplish so much, without anybody (including his children. they had no idea why he did it either) ever seeing or knowing or understanding your true intentions.

Thoughts from Parshas Matos Masei

2006-07-21T12:33:00.000-04:00

In parshas Masei, the torah tells us (again) that Aharon was niftar and that his yahrtzeit is Rosh Chodesh Av. Not coincidentally, parshas Masei, always precedes Rosh Chodesh Av.
We are now right in the middle of the three weeks. The weeks of shlosha d'puraneesa. There are always three shabbosim during the three weeks and we always lain the same three haftoras whether or not parshos Matos and Masei are lained together or separately.
It's interesting to note the first words of each of these haftoras. The first is "Divrei" Yirmiyahu... speech. The second is "Shimu" dvar Hashem....hearing and the final one is "Chazon" Yeshayahu..... sight.
The three weeks are an opportunity for us to do teshuva on our aveiros that are committed in (almost) all instances, by one of these three senses. I have even heard that the aveiros that are "yeharaig v'al yaavor" fit into one of each of these categories. Retzicha can fit into speech. why? because we know that hamalbin or hamevaze pnei chaveiro, k'ilu horgo". We may not murder physically, but how many of us are innocent and have never embarrassed or told lashon hara about a friend.
Avodah Zarah means listening to the wrong voice in your head and finally Gilui Arayos fitting into sight doesn't need any explanations.
This being the week of shimu, let's counter the shimu dvar Hashem with the shema of shema yisrael and bring ourselves to the point where "hasheevainu Hashem ailecha venashuva, CHaDeSH yamainu k'kedem".
What is Chadesh? the rashei tayvos of CHazon, Dirshu and Shimu.
Good Shabbos!

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 104

2006-07-19T04:44:00.000-04:00

Who knows FOUR?
I know FOUR.
Four are the (fore)mothers/the matriarchs.
The Imahos Hakedoshos.

It's interesting that we had three avos, but four imahos. We established what the essence of the three is and therefore how and why it made perfect sense to have three avos. Obviously, understanding the imahos will define for us the number four.
What is the role of a father and what is the role of a mother? Starting from the conception of a child's life we see that the role of the man/father is to plant the seed and the role of the woman/mother is to take the seed and develop and nurture it so that it can grow.
This explains to us why, in tefilla, we always refer to Hashem as a male. Hashem is neither male nor female, but we refer to Hashem as a male because Hashem gives us the koach, He plants the seed within us and it's up to us to develop it. That's why it's brought down that Bnei Yisrael are like a kalla to Hashem as a chosson. Those are our roles.
If you look at animal life, an animal is born and a few days later, it's out on its own walking, stalking, hunting, doing whatever it needs to. Humans take many years to grow and mature until we are finally able to take care of ourselves. Why? Because that is our nature. To nurture the G-d given potential. An animal is a BeHaiMaH, those same letters spell BaHMaH, it is what it is. From birth it is what it will be. We are called Adam, from the Adama, the earth, which is again, where a seed is planted and then can nurture and grow.
I think this also explains one of the most famous questions about milah. Why weren't we born circumcised? The answer is that Hashem plants the seed within us, but again, it is our job to take it to the next level, to develop it, so we have to take that last step on our own. To finalize our own creation.
In Braishis, before Adam is created, Hashem says, Naaseh Adam, let US make man. This begs the obvious question, who is the us?? The most common explanation is that Hashem was consulting with the Malachim (see Rashi there) but the Shalah Hakadosh gives a beautiful answer. Who is the us? US, humans. We, together with Hashem, need to "make man". Hashem gives us the raw tools, but it is our job to nurture and develop them.
This is the definition of the number four. The power to take the potential that was planted and nurture it in this world.
The Gemara says that the Gimel-Dalet combination is for Gomeil Dalim. The Gimel/Gomeil connection is clear to see, but with this explanation, we understand the Dalet/Dalim as well. Obviously, it's not just that the words sound similar. When someone gives tzedaka, he has money that he is looking to give. He has the seed to plant, but it takes the Dal, the poor person, to receive the money and therefore develop and nurture the act into an act of tzedaka.
Understanding now what the four means, we can easily understand why the four letter name of Hashem was used to create this world. There are four components to our DNA, the building blocks of who we are and the nurturing and developing of our potential.
The pasuk tells us DaM hu hanefesh, we are our blood. What is the gematria of DaM/blood? Dalet is 4 and Mem is 40, the four in both the units and the tens.
Taking it a step further, what are we? We are the balance, as we said last week, between the physical and the spiritual. Aleph we said is Hashem/spirituality, DaM we just showed is the physicality. It also means taking the seed that Hashem gave us and nuturing it in this world to make it something more. That's what makes us Adam.

Im Eshkachaich Yerushalayim Tishakach Yemini

2006-07-18T11:04:00.000-04:00

I had originally planned on posting something else yesterday and again today, but then I felt, how can I post about other things when my home and land are involved in such turmoil.
I wanted to post something, but felt I couldn't do it justice, so instead I will post links to Jameel and his constant mesiras nefesh, updating us on a very regular basis and also to frumgirl's latest post and my long winded comment there.

I want to close with a thought. We say shmoneh esray three times a day, and even if we have strong kavanos at the beginning, towards the end, at least in my case, it starts to wane. The last bracha is the bracha of "Sim Shalom" where we are asking hashem to grant us peace. Let's all make EVERY effort when we daven to have exceptionally strong kavana at that point, and in that zechus, Hashem should hear our prayers and restore peace to our land, the way it was 3300 years ago.

Thoughts from Parshas Pinchas

2006-07-14T14:51:00.000-04:00

In this week's parsha, right after sheini, the Torah is delineating the bnei yisrael that were on the verge of entering into eretz yisrael, broken down by sheivet and family. When the Torah gets up to Dasan VaAviram, the Torah refers to them as kri'ei ha'eida. However, in the Torah it is written with a vuv not a yud, so it could/would mistakenly be read kru'ei. Interestingly, in Parshas Bamidmar, when the Torah enumerates the nesi'im, it refers to them as kru'ei ha'eida but it's spelled with a yud not a vuv, so it could/would mistakenly be read kri'ei ha'eida.
Interesting juxtaposition.
I heard a great answer from Harav Herschel Schechter. I just hope I quote it correctly.
The difference between kri'ei and kru'ei is that kri'ei implies that they were called or summoned by individual(s) and kru'ei means they were called or summoned by more, by the eida as a whole. We can perhaps understand the difference as follows. Dasan and Aviram felt of themselves that they were called by the entire congregation. The Torah records their mistaken thought, which is why it is written referring to them as kru'ei, but in reality it was their own individual calling and therefore we read it, the correct way, kri'ei.
By the nesi'im it was just the opposite. In their own minds, they were small, acting on their own, kri'ei, however, we read it correctly, kru'ei, they were acting on behalf of all of klal yisrael.
I also had the thought that by the nesi'im kru'ei was written with a yud in the middle, because yud signifies Hashem. They acted with Hashem always on their minds and at the center of all of their actions. Dasan and Aviram on the other hand, did not act in the way that Hashem would have wanted them to and therefore even though they should have had a yud in their description, the Torah omits the yud, as if to illustrate this fact to us. (This was my own thought, so feel free to rip it apart.)

It's important for us to realize our self worth, but not let it get to our heads. We need to act big but think of ourselves as small.
Good Shabbos!

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 103 - Part II (continued)

2006-07-13T09:49:00.000-04:00

In my previous post, I didn't get the chance to explain the connection between the three, its essence as described, and the gimmel.
Gimmel is the same as gomeil, one who gives or nurses. Gimmel is actually the letter that represents the female. The nurturer. The "giver". However, it also means to wean, which is the exact opposite of giving. If you understand the Torah definition of giving though, it makes sense. Endless/limitless giving is not a good thing. We see many children who have been given to constantly, often grow up to become extremely spoiled. The true essence of giving is to give as long as it is necessary to give, and then not give any more. There is a point at which to stop.
We also discussed the fact that the first time a word in the torah starts with a specific letter, that word defines the letter. The first word that starts with the letter gimmel is gadol or more acurately hagedolim. The word gadol truly defines the gimmel. The word gadol can be split into two. Gimmel meaning to give, and the remaning two letters are daled and lamed which spell "dal", a poor person. A gadol is one who gives to a poor person, which is exactly how the gemara defines the gimmel, gomeil dalim.
This again, all goes back to balance. Someone who has, giving to someone who doesn't. Understanding that it all comes from Hashem and by giving to someone who is less fortunate we create a balance in the world which is our goal on this earth.
I also found it interesting that in the echad mee yodea, the three is the first time that the answer provided to what the number is, is a human being. The avos. I think that teaches us that the three and the lesson of the three is our essence and what our goal is to achieve.

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 103

2006-07-11T15:33:00.000-04:00

Who knows THREE?
I know THREE.
Three are the (fore)fathers.
The Avos Hakedoshim.

What is the essence of the number three? Three is the basis of our existence.
As discussed before when we were on the number two, the world was created with twos, good and bad, happy and sad, etc. Three is the ability to create the balance which is what is needed in this world. The "two" are diametrically opposed. Like two parallel lines, they will never come together unless there is a third to create the balance. When Hashem created the world, he created heaven and earth, spirituality and materialism. What is the balancing factor? Mankind. It is OUR responsibility to balance spirituality and materialism. Ruchniyus and Gashmiyus. Unlike others who think that one reaches his/her peak by doing away with materialism, we understand that a synthesis of the two, using materialism to achieve spirituality, is the ultimate goal.
In life, our goal is not to make object choices. It's not about choosing "A" or "B" exclusively. Being an extremist in any direction is NOT a good thing. Our job is to balance. The reason a character trait is called a mida is that mida also means a measure. We need to measure out our traits and create balances of the correct amounts. As we see in Koheles, all of the "ittim", there is a time for each one. There is a time to be kind, and there is even a time to kill.
Time and space are broken in threes. In space, there is length and width and then depth/height. Time is even easier to understand. The future in unlimited. The past is finite, it's done and gone. The present is the balance between the two.
Every action/mitzva is created using one of three methods, thought, speech or action. Our soul is broken into three (nefesh, ruach and neshama).
The minimum amount of psukim in an aliya is three, the minimum number of aliyos given out any time that we lain, is three, the minimum number of judges is also three.
Let's take a close look at the avos. Avraham was known for his chesed. He was all giving, expansion, love, growth. What was Yitzchak? The exact opposite. Gevurah. Limitation, constraint, the one who allowed himself to be put on the mizbayach. What is the third ingredient in the makeup of klal yisrael? The third father. The synthesis of the first two. Yaakov Avinu. What was his maala, "Yaakov ish tam" he was complete. He was perfect. Reconciling, balancing, harmonizing and synthesizing. How did he achieve that? The pasuk goes on to say that he was a "yosheiv ohalim". Through Torah. The Torah is the ultimate three. It's brought down in the gemara, mesechta shabbos that the Torah is three (Torah, Neviim, Kesuvim) given to a nation of threes (Kohanim, Leviim and Yisraelim) in the third month (Sivan) after three days of preparation (shloshes yemai hagbala) to a third family (Moshe was the third of three children, three generations from Levi who was the third of the shevatim, children of the third of the three avos). The torah is the ultimate "three", the ultimate balance or guide for us on how to balance.
It is brought down in the Tanna Dvei Eliyahu that Hashem took snow from the kisai Hakavod and used it as a basis for the universe. Why snow? Harav Moshe Shapiro says that unlike water which all blends together, snow, remains individual but groups together to create a greater/stronger force. Klal Yisrael is made up of many groups, ashkenazim, sephardim, chasidim (of many different types), misnagdim, etc etc. That's all fine, we are not looking for everyone to be the same, we should all have differences, but yet come together as one. Ready for the kicker? What is the gematria of snow/sheleg? shin=300, lamed=30, gimmel=3 = 333 .... each one is the three in the units, tens and hundreds, and that is the basis of the universe.

Legacies

2006-07-10T09:01:00.000-04:00

Last week, I posted, reflecting on my blog and my reflections of my own life. It made me think. I know what my wife thinks of me. She tells me with complete clarity. I think I know what my friends think of me, then again you never really know for sure, but ultimately, how much does that really matter.
What about the people that mean the most??? What about my children????
What do they see with those sharp, piercing, ever-seeing eyes? They wouldn't tell me the truth if I asked them. They'll just tell me what they think I want to hear.
What traits of mine will they grow up and emulate? How would they define me as a person? If, G-d forbid, something happened to me today, what and how would they remember me? What would they consider my legacies, the things that I lived for, the things that I stood for?

Thoughts from Parasha Chukas(/Balak)

2006-07-07T15:07:00.000-04:00

This week's parsha is full of interesting occurences. One of them is the death of Aharon Hacohen. When klal yisrael hears about his death the pasuk tells else that "Vayivku es Aharon shloshim yom KOL bais yisrael". Interestingly, by the death of Moshe, it says, "Vayivku vnai yisrael es Moshe b'arvos moav shloshim yom" It does not use the word "KOL". This implies that there were perhaps some people that mourned Aharon that did not mourn and cry for Moshe. The fact of the matter is that although both were manhigim their roles were different. Aharon was the peacemaker. As such, he was loved by and therefore mourned by all. The medrash goes into great detail describing the levaya of Aharon. Moshe however was the dayan. He had to pass jugement, therefore one of the two parties was often/occasionally not too pleased with Moshe.
It is interesting to note that at the end of the megilla it tells us that Mordechai was "ratzui lerov echav", he was accepted by MOST of his brothers. This is hard to fathom, he just saved the entire jewish population. My Rav once brought this as a proof. He pointed out that a Rav's job is to pass judgement and give mussar. As a result, he may not be loved by all, but ultimately, that's not his job. As long as he's accepted by most, and he's making a difference, he's doing his job. If he's accepted by all, there might be something lacking, that perhaps there's something that he should be doing differently.

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 102

2006-07-05T02:22:00.000-04:00

Who knows TWO???
I know TWO! Two are the luchos!

As I explained before, the number one doesn't exist in this world, which means we really begin with the number two. This is where the fun really starts.

The sefer Otiyot D'Rabbi Akiva cites that when Hashem was about to create the world, all of the letters came forward wanting to be the letter with which creation began. The Aleph being the first letter came first and asked to be the letter used. Hashem said no, you can't be the letter because the word "arur" meaning cursed, begins with an Aleph. The Bet came next and Hashem agreed to start creation of the world with the letter Bet, saying that the word "bracha" begins with the letter Bet. As we know, creation begins with the letter Bet, Braishis.
The Even Ezra is perplexed, and asks, there are plenty of positive words beginning with Aleph and plenty of negative words that begin with the letter Bet, so how do we understand this?
The Maharal gives a perfect answer. He explains what bracha means. We understand it as a blessing, but in reality it means multiplying. In fact, the very first use of bracha in the Torah is to be fruitful and multiply. There are many situations in the torah that I can think of where bracha means just that. Multiplying.
The Maharal goes on to say that the reason that the Aleph was "cursed" and creation could not start with Aleph is because Aleph is void of bracha, it is void of multiplicity. The first letter that has duplicity, and the only number that is always plural, "shnayim", is the number two corresponding to the letter Bet. The shoresh of the word "bracha" is "Bet", "Resh", "CHaf". The corresponding gematrias of those letters are 2, 200, and 20. Each is the first case of multiplicity in the units, tens and hundreds. So we see that two is at the very source of creation.
If we look closely, almost everything in this world is in twos or pairs.
night and day. up and down. left and right. good and bad. etc. etc. etc.
Chromosomes are in pairs. Even our brain is broken down into two, emotional and rational/logical. The heart has two functions, pumping the blood in and out.
How is the number two defined? By the luchos. Why are there TWO luchos? Couldn't Hashem have just given us one? (yes, I know the joke about the fact that it was free...) The fact that there are two luchos, exemplifies how the two is at our essence. The luchos are broken down into positive commandments and negative commandments, "bein adam lamakom" and "bein adam lachaveiro", spiritual and material. The true essence of the number two.
In fact, we refer to Hashem as our father. Why not as our mother? In actuality he is (kavayachol) both. The answer is that the word for father is av, spelled aleph bet. This term is used because Hashem took the world from oneness to multiplicity. From the one to the two.

Time to Reflect - Post # 100

2006-07-03T13:12:00.000-04:00

I was about to start typing up the next post in my numerology series, but then I realized that this is post #100 and decided to take a moment to reflect. Sorry, please tune in Wednesday (BE"H) for more on numerology.

I have (apparently) been posting for slightly over eight months now. I have "met" many new and interesting people online in blogworld. Some have definitely made the experience positive and most importantly, somewhat of an entertaining and educational process. There is one person/blogger though that I have gotten to know, perhaps more/better than any other, and for that, I am most appreciative. That blogger is...........

Interestingly, my first post ever was entitled Who Am I .
Yes, the blogger that I have come to learn the most about over this eight month journey is none other than myself.

I'd be curious to hear my readers thoughts as to who they think I am, and there is of course time for that in the comments section, however, for now I will let you know what I have discovered about myself.

I really have found myself to be an idealistically frum jew. I am true to my principles.
I don't post for other people's comments, although I definitely do enjoy them.
I don't post for other's expectations, but I hope I live up to them.
I don't post based on my "persona", although I hope my posts suit it.
I post based on what I feel.
I post based on what I want and choose to convey, to you as well as to and for myself.
Over the last eight months I have discovered that the messages that I most want to convey happen to be ones conveying a frum, positive image.

Am I perfect? NO. Not even close. Have I ever said that I was? I doubt it, and, if yes, only in SERIOUS jest. I am human, I have surely made mistakes just like everyone else. I am constantly looking to learn and grow in all aspects of my life. I believe that once you stop growing and learning, you stop living.
I am simply a man who lives in a working world. I am not a rabbi and I am not sitting in yeshiva. However, the part of me that appears to be the strongest is the one that yearns for education and growth in the area of torah and frumkeit. I am looking to continue to make myself the best person that I can be.
Considering the choices that I make and have made, it really makes me happy to see that that is the aspect of me that appears to be most at my essence.
As a child, we always want our parents to be proud of us, and although that is important, and I feel like mine are proud of me, what I think is most important, particularly after reviewing my posts, is that I am proud of myself.

Thanks for joining me on this journey and I hope to continue to grow and learn and share and improve for many posts, I mean years, to come. :-)

Thoughts from Parshas Korach

2006-06-30T11:45:00.000-04:00

Where to begin??? There's soooo much this week....

Nashim Daatan Kalos - I knew that would get your attention. While the gemara says this and I believe it to be true, it does NOT mean that women are in any way mentally inferior to men. It's just means that their "daas" is "lighter".
Why do people always focus on that statement in the gemara and not on the fact that women have "beena yesaira". Daas is one simple level of understand, beena is understanding on a much diffrent and deeper level. Women have deeper insight and greater understanding into things than men. This week's parsha brings proof to this.
Korach starts a whole revolt and has Dasan and Aviram on his side, together with On ben Peles. Yet, when the actual confrontation occurs, On is nowhere to be found. Chazal tell us that his wife argued with him and convinced him not to go and even devised a plan to keep him from going, even when they came to call on him. She literally saved his life, both in this world and the next. How and why did she see this? Why didn't/couldn't On see it for himself? The answer is "beena". Women are gifted with that extra level of understanding and insight that men simply cannot achieve.
I have experienced this in my own life as well. There was once a situation where my wife saved my job. She understood something that either I couldn't see or failed to realize. She forced me to do something about it and it literally prevented me from losing my job. I have spoken with numerous others who have had similar experiences. I would take the lighter daas and greater beena any day.

I was contemplating something the other day. This is a dvar torah very commonly given at sheva brachos and it dawned on me, Parshas Korach almost always comes out in June, the most popular month for weddings.... hmmmmmmmmmm... another "coincidence"???

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 101

2006-06-27T01:01:00.000-04:00

Who knows One? I know One. One is Hashem in the heaven and the earth.

A seemingly innocuous statement at first glance. However, if you look further you realize the depths of it. One is Hashem and nothing BUT Hashem is one.
One symbolizes uniqueness and unity. There is nothing on this earth that is unique or is perfectly united other than Hashem. When you hear an advertisement claiming that something is a one of a kind or a one day only sale, do you believe them? Of course not, because it's not possible in this world of ours.
The letter corresponding to the number one is the letter "aleph" whose gematria is one. What sound does the aleph have? None. It's silent because it's not pronounced and can't exist in this world. It's the same concept.
What does aleph mean? It can mean aluf, meaning champion, which makes sense being that it's the first letter of the aleph bet, or to teach. "l'aleph" means to teach or train. The gemara says "aleph bina", the first two letters, the "aleph" and "bet" are the beginnings of teaching.
We are taught that the first time in the torah that a word starts with a specific letter, that word defines the letter. The first word in the Torah that starts with the letter aleph is elokim.
If you look at the aleph, it's made up of a "vav" with a "yud" above it and a "yud" below it. The letter "yud" is one of the representations of Hashems name. This signifies Hashem in the heaven and the earth, with the "vav" (which is also part of Hashem's name) connecting the two. The gematria of two yuds and a vav = 2*10+6=26 which is the gematria of Hashems name.

Coincidences??? Clearly not......

Thoughts from Parshas Shelach

2006-06-23T16:39:00.000-04:00

After the Meraglim came back and gave their report to the Bnei Yisrael, the Bnei Yisrael despair and spend the night crying and complaining to Moshe and Aharon why they took them out of Egypt to die in the desert.
The Torah tells us that Moshe and Aharon, and Yehoshua and Kalev react to the Bnei Yisrael's reaction in different ways. Moshe and Aharon "fall on their faces" in tefilla, because they hoped that there was still a way that they could salvage the situation. Yehoshua and Kalev "ripped their clothes" in mourning because they realized that the situation was hopeless.
How was it that Yehoshua and Kalev saw and realized what Moshe and Aharon didn't?
The answer that I heard given is that Yehoshua and Kalev had just returned from a stay in Eretz Yisrael, and they still had some of the kedusha inside them. As the gemara teaches us, "avira deretz yisrael machkima". Although Yehoshua and Kalev were definitely not on a higher madrega than Moshe and Aharon, at that moment, because of the time that they spent in Eretz Yisrael, they had greater clarity.
Good Shabbos!

The Esoteric Meaning of Numbers - Numerology 100

2006-06-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

There are those who believe that numbers are just numbers. Then you have people like Pythagoras and others that believe that numbers are so much more. I totally ascribe to this second school of thought. I love numbers. I live numbers.
As it turns out, this is also the accepted opinion of our Jewish sages.

The following is based on shiurim by Rav Ari Bergmann and other bits of knowledge that I have gathered over the years:

The oldest sefer we have, is the Sefer Yetzira, which happens to be a kabbalistic sefer. The sefer was apparently written by Avraham Avinu, or it was possibly given by Hashem to Avraham Avinu. In either case, it's quite old.
The Sefer Yetzira writes that the world was created with 32 paths of wisdom. No coincidence that the number 32 is the gematria of lev/heart. In Parshas Breishis, when discussing the creation of the world, the word/name "elokim" is written 32 times.
What are these 32 paths of wisdom? The Sefer Yetzira answers that the 32 paths of wisdom, the 32 building blocks of the creation of the world, are the 10 numerical digits and the 22 letters of the hebrew language.
Kabbalists discuss and delve into the importance of the numbers and they included one of the most telling pieces into our Haggadah, namely, the "echad mee yodea". It seems like a strange place. Why in the Haggadah?
Any time there are repetitions of numbers, there is always an inherent connection between those numbers. The question is asked why were there ten makos? Hashem could have easily wiped out Mitzrayim with one. The Maharal gives a beautiful answer. He explains that Yetzias Mitzrayim, wasn't just about extrictaing the jews from Egypt. It was a re-creation of the world purely for the sake of the Jews and the Torah. The ten makos, perfectly correspond to the shutting down of the ten "maamoros" with which the world was created (yes, the aseres hadibros also ties in to these ten maamoros). He explains them all, but the easiest ones to understand are the maka of choshech, offsetting "yehi ohr" and makas bechoros offsetting "naaseh adam", etc. So, on Pesach night, when we discuss the genesis and recreation of the world for the jews, there is no more fitting time to discuss the numbers, the building blocks of the world, and how they apply to us.
As time goes on, I will try to go number by number and explain their importance, when possible combining it with its corresponding letter. I hope you enjoy!

Life - equation

2006-06-20T13:05:00.000-04:00

Life is made up of 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to the 10%.

Thoughts from Parshas Behaaloscha

2006-06-16T15:08:00.000-04:00

The parsha begins with Hashem commanding Moshe to speak to Aharon and teach him the laws of lighting the Menorah. The Torah then testifies in Aharon's merit that "kein asah Aharon". Aharon did exactly how he was told. Rashi even "expands" on this and says "melamed shelo 'sheena' " That this teaches us that Aharon didn't deviate at all from what he was told. Is it that shocking that Aharon did exactly as Hashem commanded? Secondly, what is it that Rashi is adding?
I heard a beautiful explanation.

The word 'sheena' normally means to deviate. It comes from the same shoresh as sheini, two or second. It makes sense. To deviate means to go down a separate, second or different path. (Lashon Hakodesh is such a beautiful language, but that's for another time.) However, here Rashi means that Aharon did not repeat (same shoresh). He lit the menorah every single day for almost forty years and each time he did it, he did it with the same excitement and fervor as the very first time.
I'm sure all guys remember the very first time they put on tefillin. How long did it take you then, and how long does it take you now?
It is encumbent upon us to do mitzvos with excitement, not just by rote and rut.

That is the lesson I hope to take from the parsha this week. Good Shabbos!

Napoleon

2006-06-15T10:38:00.000-04:00

Napoleon was a short man who tried to conquer the world and failed but left behind so much that we have in our lives even 250 years later.
The concept of hiring relatives, a great long palindrome, a yummy cream filled dessert and perhaps my favorite to study..... an interesting complex.

Over the years I have worked with many people, skinny and fat, tall and short. It does amaze me how many short people that I have worked with have exhibited traits consistent with the napoleonic complex. Is it that so many short people act in this manner? or do I specifically notice it because they are short and make the connection?

Perhaps most importantly, what did they call this complex before Napoleon was on the scene? (I know, that's a takeoff on the "irony" that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease, sorry)

Thoughts on Parshas Nasso

2006-06-13T10:51:00.000-04:00

OK, fine, so I am three days late. Ten days late for my Israeli readers. I do apologize.
The mishna berura cites that one can be maavir sedra until Tuesday, so i can officially sneak this in. The message is so important, that I had to blog it.
There are so many messages to be learned out from Parshas Naso, including one really deep one about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and more. I want to focus on what I think is the main lesson of the shabbos (I may get into the others another time).
Every parsha has it's haftorah, and there is always a connection between the parsha and the haftorah. Sometimes it's more obvious, sometimes less so. Sometimes both.
The obvious connection this past week is that Shimshon was a nazir and the parsha teaches us the halachos of nazir. connection. simple.
I'd like to bring attention to a different connection with a strong message in both the parsha and the haftorah which is why I referred to it as the message of the shabbos not just the parsha.
We are taught that the Torah doesn't waste an extra letter. Yet, the Torah spends 72 precious pesukim (anyone who wants to count the letters, be my guest) describing the korbanos of the nesi'im that were all identical. The Torah felt it important to teach the lesson of how the nesi'im behaved, each one following the other's lead, not trying to outdo his fellow nasi (although I'm sure it was tempting) and setting an example for their individual shevatim and for all of klal yisrael.
Let's look at the haftorah, where the message is even stronger and clearer. The malach comes to Manoach's wife, Tzlelponis, and tell her that Shimshon will be a nazir. He proceeds to teach her all of the halachos of a nazir, no wine or grapes, no haircuts, no tumah, etc. She then tells over the story to her husband, Manoach, whose response is perplexing. He prays to Hashem, "please send us back the malach to tell us what we should do "lanaar" - to/for the boy. What's the question? The malach already explained everything to Tzlelponis. If he had a question about the halachos of nazir, what did he need the malach for? He could have just asked the gadol hador.
What makes it even more perplexing is that the navi tells us, that Hashem listened to Manoach's prayers and sent the malach.
To make matters worse, what does the malach tell Manoach? He says, do exactly as I described to your wife. Manoach is satisfied with this answer. ??? what's going on???
So I heard a beautiful answer. Manoach heard and understood what the malach told his wife the first time (btw, for all of you feminists out there, isn't it amazing that the malach appeared both times to Tzlelponis and not to Manoach?). His question wasn't what is a nazir. His question was, "how am I supposed to raise a nazir?" I am supposed to tell him, "oh, Shimshon, it's ok for me to cut my hair and eat grapes, but it's not ok for you"? How can I possibly raise my son that way? That was Manoach's question of the malach. What does the malach respond? "kol asher tzivisiha TIshmor" YOU, yes, you Manoach, you must do everything that I told her. Lead by example.
That appears to be the lesson of both the parsha and the haftorah. It's something that we hear all the time, but it's an important one and one that it can't hurt to hear again and again until we internalize it. We can't tell our children one thing and we ourselves do another. There's so much more on this, but this post is long enough as it is.

On a side note, 99% of the time, parshas naso comes out the shabbos after shavuous. there are numerous connections between the two.
For twenty five bonus points, what's the connection between this haftorah and megillas rus.

Anivus/Humility

2006-06-09T10:40:00.000-04:00

The gemara at the end of mesechet sotah discusses certain character traits and whether or not they still existed in the time of the gemara. The suggestion comes up that "anava"/humility/modesty no longer existed after the death of Rav Yehuda Hanassi.
Rav Yoseif stood up and said no, you can't say that it no longer exists, "d'ica ana" which literally means, because there's still me. This sounds like a very contradictory statement, bordering even on a joke.
There are numerous answers. One is, that he didn't mean himself. "ana" in this case should not have been translated, it was a proper noun. He was referring to another amora whose name was "ana". I don't know about you, I think it's a "cute" answer, but it doesn't really do it for me.
Maybe we have to discuss what humility and modesty is. Maybe, most likely, we don't truly understand it.
The Torah tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu was the greatest anav ever. What does that mean? Did he think that he was anything less than the leader of klal yisrael?
Not a chance. He knew exactly who he was. He knew that he was the only who could speak to Hashem face to face.

OK, so my understanding now of anava is not being clueless to who and what you are, but simply put, not taking credit for it. Moshe knew he was the manhig and that there was nobody else like him, but he didn't feel he was worthy, due to anything that he himself did. He gave Hashem all of the credit. That's anava.
If Hashem gives us special talents, and He gives some to each and every one of us, it is a shame for us not to recognize and appreciate those gifts/talents. It would be a crime not to utilize them. The trick is that while using them, accepting the fact and knowing full well, that they are gifts from Hashem and not chas v'shalom the results of "kochi v'otzem yadi".
Rav Yoseif knew who he was and that he was the most modest person alive at that time, but he didn't feel it was his doing, and under normal circumstances he didn't go telling everyone about it. He only mentioned it when he did, to prevent the thought that it no longer existed.
May we all recognize the talents within ourselves and recognize them as the gifts that they are from Hashem and use them to praise His holy name. Good Shabbos!

Why???

2006-06-07T20:14:00.000-04:00

B"H I have my health and my family is healthy.
B"H I have a good marriage and wonderful healthy children.
B"H I have a great job and a very good parnassa.
B"H I have lots of friends.
B"H I am not only well liked, but I am loved, and I know it.

So why am I soooooo down????

The Apprentice

2006-06-05T14:27:00.000-04:00

Lee or Sean???

Sean or Lee???

Who will be the winner tonight??????

The answer is clear in my mind. The winner of the Apprentice will be.........
.
.
.
.

The Donald again, of course.

The man is a genius. In the first seasons, he would create these tasks to test the candidates and every item was a Trump item that he was plugging. It was great advertising. Now he has major companies, paying him, vying to have their corporate name mentioned on his program and all of the tasks revolve around those companies.

Whether Lee wins or Sean, Trump himself is the ultimate winner.

That being said, it would be fun to see the frum guy win. GO LEE!!!!!

Hamotzi Lechem Min Hashamayim

2006-05-30T10:50:00.000-04:00

OK, Jeopardy fans, that's the answer, now what was the question? The question was, "What bracha did the Bnei Yisrael make on the mon in the desert?"

I was recently reflecting (with the help of my rav) on a very interesting concept. The mon was probably the greatest daily mitzva ever recorded. Every morning, the Bnei Yisrael woke up and outside their door was this "stuff" that tasted like anything you wanted it to. Think about the following, let's look at someone that was born a week after matan torah, and grew up in the desert. Now it's just before they enter into Eretz Yisrael, he/she is almost forty years old. In that person's mind the mon wasn't a "miracle", it's just the way things have always been. Yet we, who have never had or seen the mon think of it as an incredible miracle.
It makes me stop and think. Thinking about all the things that Hashem has given us on a regular basis and we, or at least I, probably never appreciated so much because it's something that we've always had. The rain, sunlight, my family, our health, our ability to see, hear, speak, smell, etc. etc. etc.
Looking at it now makes me realize just how miraculous all of that actually is. Boruch Hashem ....... asher lo azav chasdo va'amito........

Special Moments

2006-05-24T15:23:00.000-04:00

OK, I decided to follow up my previous post with this one:

What special things do you try to do with your child(ren) or did your parent(s) do with you?
You know what I mean, the silly little things, that kids will probably remember forever.

For example, somebody once gave me the idea and I buy my kids Dunkin Donuts on Rosh Chodesh. It actually accomplishes more than one purpose. I once missed, and they were very quick to remind me that it was Rosh Chodesh. I didn't know they knew.

I make sure to tuck my daughter into bed almost every night, and say shma, and kiss her eyes. Occasional butterfly kisses are always fun.

One can never have too many ideas. I want to hear yours.

I Miss My Daughter

2006-05-22T13:43:00.000-04:00

Just the other day, my daughter was born. ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes. She was barely even able to look up at me. totally helpless. a tiny bundle in my hands. I miss my daughter.
Yesterday she started to talk. Yesterday, she started to walk. She wasn't as dependant on me, yet she still was. I miss my daughter.

Today, her mother and I are still her world. Nothing is more important in her life.
But I have to work. I am forced to be apart from her. I miss her so much.
I spend a few minutes in the morning with her, and maybe a half hour at night.
When I am with her, I want to spend every moment with her, yet I get distracted.
I hope she remembers the fun times that we did spend together. Time flies by so fast. I miss my daughter.

Tomorrow, she will be that much more independant. Spending more time with her friends and spending less and less time at home. I miss my daughter.
Next week will be her Bat Mitzva and I will watch and wonder how this little child became a young lady. She is BA"H soooo beautiful. I miss my daughter.

Next month she becomes a teenager, so busy with her friends, her school, work, boys, who knows what else. I miss my daughter.
Next year she gets married. Everything changes. In most ways for the better, but then she is no longer even living in my house. Have I mentioned that I miss my daughter?

I can't wait to go home tonight and hold her and squeeze her so tight. I want to make sure that she realizes that at any given second that I am not completely with her, no matter what else is going on in my life, I will ALWAYS love and miss my daughter.

Nickelback

2006-05-18T11:20:00.000-04:00

When I heard my first Nickelback, single, "How You Remind Me", I really enjoyed it and thought to myself, here's a band that I can really get into. Unfortunately, they disappointed me. Although I do still enjoy their music, every song of theirs sounds pretty much the same to me. In fact, I discovered last night that somebody apparently already even blogged about it a few months back.
Yesterday, I discovered their latest video, Savin' Me .
(if you don't have QuickTime or have other issues with viewing this video, let me know, I may have other ways)
What can I say? I loved it. It's so brilliant and original and well thought out. I showed it to a few of my friends and family and felt I had to share it with my "blogfamily" as well.
A friend also directed me to an earlier video of theirs, Someday .
I thought this video was also very good and very well done, but the premise wasn't as original as the Savin' Me video.
It still bothers me that their songs sound the same, and there is one common theme between these two videos (which I won't share with you so as not to give it away), however, I really enjoyed the videos and wanted to share them with you.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Gematrias

2006-05-16T19:47:00.000-04:00

Many people mock gematrias and I definitely agree that sometimes they get stretched a bit. Once you start adding or removing letters, it definitely loses some of its potency. However, Hebrew is not just another language, it's lashon hakodesh. There is a reason and not only an explanation, but a deeper explanation to most words we come across. Maybe another time I'll get deeper into that. For today, I just wanted to throw out there a few interesting gematrias that pertain to this time period (I hope Reb Shimon Bar Yochai and the Ramah whose yahrtzeits were today will be proud).

We know that sefira is 49 days and is split into the days of mourning prior to Lag Baomer, and the days after, as we approach the holy Yom Tov of Shavuous.
The word "midda" has a gematria of 49. This can be understood both relating to us improving on ourselves and our midos as we approach Shavuous or us raising ourselves level by level (midda) until we reach Shavuous.
the words "lev tov" also have a gematria of 49. In fact, as I said above, sefira is split in two. "lev" refers to the first 32 days. The "heartfelt" days of mourning. "tov" refers to the last 17 days. The "good" days leading up to Shavuous and matan torah.
Lastly, what is the origin of the expression "oy vey"? I recently heard that it comes from the expression that's brought down in the gemara, "vay" (spelled vuv, yud) which is a cry.
As stated above, the gematria of lev/heart is 32. When a heart is sad and broken, it's split in half. "vay", the cry of the heart, has a gematria of 16, half of "lev".

Mama Mia

2006-05-12T15:44:00.000-04:00

Lag Baomer is so close that I can almost taste it. With it comes the end of our sefira mourning period. Shaving and music are two things that I am very much looking forward to at this point. I know some people listen to music during sefira, but I am quite sure most do not listen to live music or go to shows.
Now is the time to plan for post Lag Baomer activities. Here's one recommendation:

I had been hearing from friends how great the show Mama Mia was and decided to go see it for myself. I went with my wife shortly before pesach. I must say, I had an amazing time. There's something about Broadway in general that just sets the mood.
I have been to many shows and each one has its own flavor. Its own draw. Its own magic, that makes it special. I can't say that Mama Mia was THE best show that I have ever seen, but it was definitely unique and extremely enjoyable. It makes it that much more enjoyable if you are familiar with ABBA's music. I'm sure almost everybody is familiar with their music, to greater or lesser degrees, even though you may not realize that the music in question is ABBA.
The concept is amazingly brilliant. Most shows are written and then the music is composed to fit into the story. Here, it's the reverse. They took the music and created a story around it. Yes, there were some weak spots, but considering the task, it was quite good and extremely entertaining and most of all, FUN. It was probably the most fun that I ever had at a Broadway show. The electricity as the show ends is amazing and it's true what they say, at the end, just about everyone is dancing in the aisles.
Get tickets now. See the show. You won't regret it. When you get there..... tell them AFI sent you.

Last Night

2006-05-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

Last night, I fell out of my bed
I fell out of my bed, and bumped my head
Thank G-d I'm not dead

A Fate Worse Than Death

2006-05-07T18:01:00.000-04:00

Everyone by now I'm sure knows the results of the Zacarias Moussaoui trial. I was sure that I would have found a bunch of blogs on the subject, but I was shocked not to see even one. Over shabbos I heard people saying he should have gotten the death penalty. He got away with it. If he doesn't get the death penalty who would? etc.

Quite frankly, after hearing the details of his sentence, better that they don't kill him. He will suffer much more living in a tiny cell 23 hours a day. Never again seeing the light of day. Never interacting with another human being other than the guards. If it was me, chas v'shalom, shoot me first.

No death penalty, but a life sentence of a fate even worse.

Yom Ha'atzmaut - Iyar 5

2006-05-03T11:25:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's what today is. The question is, what does it mean.

As an idealistic and zionistic frum Jew, I must say that I grew up with a huge sense of meaning for Yom Ha'atzmaut. Unfortunately, in many, if not most circles, the day is defined by the davening questions. What does your shul do? We say whole hallel with a bracha, we say half hallel without a bracha, we said tachanun (no way!!!), neturei karta not only say tachanun but kinus and slichos. etc. etc. It's amazing how certain groups of Jews that will find ANY excuse not to say tachanun say it davka today. lol. Bottom line.... it's a major source of davening controversy.

Well, ready or not.... here's my opinion:

We are taught in the gemara that there is legitimacy to saying hallel or shevach v'hodaa on a day "shenaasu bahem nisim l'yisrael" and on a day when miracles occurred for our people/ancestors, etc. It's part of our overall being, who we are, to be makirei tov. (Please click here and/or here to see previous posts of mine on the subject)

With the exception of the Satmar Rebbe ZTL who says it was a "maase satan", I think everyone else agrees that what happened in 1948 cannot be categorized as anything else but a miracle. Whether you support the State of Israel or not, that you have to admit. Based on that, it would seem that hallel on this day makes sense. However, being that the day was not established by the Anshei Knesses Hagedola, we should probably only say half hallel (similar to rosh chodesh) and especially being that safek brachos l'kula, we probably shouldn't make a bracha.
All that said and done, what are you saying? by saying half hallel without a bracha? A few chapters of tehillim. That shouldn't kill anybody, but yet......

The argument most of the opposition has, is that the state of Israel is not a frum state and in fact it's run by mechalelai shabbos, etc. I won't deny that. However I will point out that the Rambam in Hilchos Chanukah explains that one of the reasons that we celebrate Chanukah is because that victory was "machzir shilton l'yisrael yeser mimaasayim shana", that due to the victory of Chanukah we regained controlling power of Eretz Yisrael for over two hundred years. Anyone who knows their Jewish History is aware, that those were far from the "Golden Ages" as far as Jewish leadership is concerned. Between Yannai and Herod, they did more to kill the chachamim than preserve, let alone, grow Torah. Now granted, Ben Gurion, through Sharon and Olmert are no tzadikkim, and yes, they may have cut funding to the yeshivos, but I don't think you can compare ANY of them to the kings of the post-Chashmonaic era. Yet, the Rambam says that the fact Eretz Yisrael was under Jewish rule, even under the above mentioned reshaim, that it warranted day(s) of hallel and shevach.
I have seen the arguments of the Satmar Rebbe, who went so far as to say that the Holocaust was caused by the efforts to establish the State of Israel even before it happened. Thankfully, I have also learned the arguments against him as well, which in my opinion are quite solid.

These last few years my opinions have deviated slightly. One of my biggest issues came when I discovered that there is some flexibility with the date. If Iyar 5 comes out on Shabbos it become a nidche to Sunday. If it comes out on Friday it also pushed off to avoid possible chillul shabbos because of the celebration of the day. I think that's very nice, BUT if we are saying to say hallel because on THAT established day nissim occurred to/for the Jews. How can that day change? It makes no sense. There is no problem saying hallel on shabbos, why change that?
Also, I was discussing the day with a friend this morning, and my friend was quick to point out that events of the last year and the way the government has treated the pioneers and settlers of Gush Katif and the frum Jews in general has left a bad taste in everybody's mouth. There is no question that's the case. I can't disagree.
The way I look at the day however, we are celebrating the past and the miracles that hashem did for us, which is not really affected by today's rulers. I think even the neturei karta will admit (ok, they won't admit it, but they know it's true) that their lives are easier now living in Israel under Israeli control than if the land was under Arab rule.
Whether it's the aschalta d'geula or not, I choose not to get into that, but there is no question in my mind that having a Jewish, albeit non-religious state, is better than not having a Jewish state at all. We now have full access to all of the mekomos hakedoshim that we barely had access to for hundreds of years and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Still, here in America, I don't agree with listening to music today if one normally doesn't during sefira, but in Israel, I don't feel as strongly about it, after all they feel the direct impact of the nissim much more than we do.
I hope this will not get me stoned by my neturei karta or Satmar brethren. Luckily they are busy fighting other battles now. Watch them unite to fight Yom Haatzmaut before going back to their own in-fighting. lol. Happy Yom Haatzmaut!!!

The above opinion is just one man's opinion and does not reflect the views of blogworld in general.

If you can't beat 'em. join 'em - My MeMe (with pic)

2006-05-01T14:37:00.000-04:00

Accent: Born in New York, but I don’t think I have a New York accent. I can speak hebrew with enough of an accent that I can pass for an Israeli.

Booze: Single Malt Scotch – Glenrothes, Wine – Moscato, otherwise the sweet mixed drinks. My favorite wedding drink is a Fuzzy Navel
(I think I just like the name).

Chore I Hate: It would be much easier to list the chores that I enjoy, that’s why they are called CHORES!!!

Dogs/Cats: As a kid, I had a cat and a dog for a few days (on different occasions).

Essential Electronics: blackberry, computer, blackberry, cell phone and did I mention my blackberry?

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: Don’t wear any. Cologne gives me headaches. I might have a favorite perfume, debating whether or not to post it.

Gold/Silver: $658.00/$14.01 per oz. (as of this morning)

Hometown: I reside in New York, but Jerusalem, Israel is my home.

Insomnia: for about five seconds TOPS.

Job Title: I’m a Somebody - when I got married, I was told that I finally became a somebody. Now when my wife says, “Will Somebody please take out the garbage, I know she means me.”

Kids: The pride and joy of my life. The essence of and reason for my being

Living Arrangements: I no longer live with my parents.

Most Admired Trait: Probably, my giving nature.

Number of sexual partners: define sexual partners… JUST KIDDING… SHEESH. With a name like Frum Idealist, what do you think???

Overnight Hospital Stays: I stayed with my daughter who was in the NICU after she was born. As a kid I also had tonsils out and a hernia operation. Warn your kids that it’s a dumb idea to try lifting the piano as a toddler.

Phobia: I am phobiaphobic. I’m afraid to admit what my phobias are. OK, fine, heights, but I’m working on it. Are you happy now????

Quote: “guess what?”
“Never do today what you can push off altogether.” - Ziggy

Religion: Jewish (FFB), I think. (did my blog name give it away?)

Siblings: those are brother(s) and sister(s), right?

Time I usually wake up: 6:00 AM EST. (plus 1+ hits of the snooze button)

Unusual Talent: Making people smile.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Can I pick two? Asparagus and Brussel Sprouts

Worst Habit: Overanalyzing and nit-picking.

X-Rays: I looooove MRIs. I’ve had a few. Put me in a dark tube, what do I do? Close my eyes and go to sleep (remember my answer for Insomnia?)

Yummy Foods I make: Cereal, Eggs, Tuna, do reservations count?
Then of course, there is my internationally acclaimed brisket.

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

I tag my most faithful reader and commenter, Frumgirl . What??? She’s already done it? And tagged me???
Hmmmmmmm, is there ANYBODY left to tag that hasn’t already done this?
Prag... how about it?

Tzaraas Bizman Hazeh - Gam Zu L'Tovah

2006-04-27T12:09:00.000-04:00

The Torah in this week's parsha teaches us the concept of tzaraas in one's house. This is where the person's walls become discolored and the person has to call in the kohein to inspect his house. If the discoloration doesn't go away after seven days, he has to knock down the wall(s) where the tzaraas existed.
Rashi points out that there was a hidden positive in this. The Emorites used to hide their jewels and treasures in the walls, and when the Jews with the tzaraas on their walls would knock down the walls they would find the treasure. A typical case of something that at first looks like a bad situation but ends up being all for the best.
Bible critics over the years have criticized the Torah saying that it is outdated. This can be cited as a classic case, tzaraas doesn't exist today. It's definitely not leprosy as we know it. Ever heard of a house with "leprosy"?
We, however, know and believe that the Torah is eternal, and the messages contained therein apply forever and always. For the best proof, ask me sometime about the cow and weasel gemara, amazing stuff, but for another post.
Anyway, anybody that lives in the New York area should remember the storms that we suffered through around Yom Kippur. Many houses were flooded, some badly damaged. I know of one instance where someone basement walls were covered with mold (colored spots on the walls) and the walls needed to be knocked down. Behind the walls, they found GOLD, hidden there by previous owners. I was blown away. It was exactly as Rashi described almost a thousand years ago, on a pasuk in the Torah that was written over three thousand years ago, and still has application today.
"Every cloud has a silver lining" where do you think they got that from?

So keep in mind, when seemingly bad things happen, try and stay positive, it could just be Hashem's way of setting you up for something truly amazing.

Yom Hashoa

2006-04-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

I was debating whether or not to continue blogging, and even if I did, part of me wanted to leave my previous post up on top a little longer. Thinking about today and its connection to my previous post, made me think that perhaps I should post.

Today is Yom Hashoa. In Israel, the observance is strong. Everyone there knows about the day and commemorates it. It doesn't matter whether you are frum or not, Yom Hashoa is still Yom Hashoa.
Here in America it's a whole different story. For some strange reason, most of frum America does not commemorate Yom Hashoa. They are of the opinion that we have Tisha B'Av and that's enough. The other argument that I have heard is that Yom Hashoa should not have been set during Nissan which is a happy month.
I am not normally one to rock the boat, but I have to disagree with this mentality. We lost SIX million jews in a fairly short period of time. That's three to ten times the amount of people that left mitzrayim. It wasn't just the non-frum that were "punished" and killed. How many tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of frum jews were killed, not to mention rabbanim and gedolei hador.
The youngest survivors are now in the mid to late sixties. May they all be zoche to live "ad meah vesrim", but the odds are, that we don't have them around THAT much longer. Who will be around to refute the cynics that to this day claim that it never happened? Why shouldn't there be a day to commemorate the loss of our culture?
My argument to the arguments posed above is very simple, sefira. It was set-up post Anshei Knesses Hagedola, in addition to Tisha B'Av and it eats up more than a few days of Nissan. So where's the logic?? Hashem Yinkom Damam.

Pesach Kavanos

2006-04-12T09:15:00.000-04:00

It's Erev Pesach and I'm sure that all bechorim have gone to siyumim to avoid fasting. When was the last time a bechor actually had to fast on erev pesach?
We are all busy with our last minute preparations. Packing our cars to go away, if we aren't already tanning in sunny Florida, or last minute cleanings, biur chametz, cleaning the cars, manicures, pedicures, facials, etc. Not that I am criticizing or, chas v'shalom, do I have anything against these things, my point is simply that B"H we live very comfortable lives.

A little more than sixty years ago, life was not that simple and not that comfortable. Sixty years is not such a long time. B"H we still have representatives that lived through and survived those terrible times.
I can't believe I had never heard of it before, but this week, someone brought to my attention a tefila that was composed in Bergen Belsen in 1944. Although apparently in 1945, somehow, they were able to make some small amounts of matza, "When Rabbi Israel Spira led 70 Bergen-Belsen Jews to demand flour for baking matza, it was a demand so audacious in the SS Valley of Death that a stunned Adolf Haas, camp commandant, acquiesced." However, in 1944 they obviously did not have matza in the camp.
The rabbinical authority, Rabbi Aharon Davids, led the Seder in the male barracks, conducting the ceremony from memory. The mesiras nefesh that these jews possessed is mind boggling. When he reached the part of blessing on the mitzvah to eat matzah, they said the following tefilla (translated here into english):
"Heavenly Father, it is clear to You that our will is to do Your will and celebrate Passover by eating matzoh, and by refraining from chametz. But we are sick at heart because the oppression and mortal danger in which we find ourselves prevents us (from fulfilling these commandments). We are ready and willing to fulfill Your mandate that we 'live by the commandments and not die by them'. And we are observing Your warning: 'Protect yourself and keep your soul alive.' We therefore beseech You to keep us alive, sustain us and redeem us speedily, so that we may observe your statutes, carry out Your will and serve You wholeheartedly." Rabbi Davids then ate from a piece of bread, urging his followers to do the same.
For more details on the seder in Bergen Belsen click here .

If only, we, living in the laps of luxury can have half the kavanos on our matza during the seder that they had on their chametz. Something to think about tonight and tomorrow.

Chag Kasher V'Sameach

(Please click here to see a post with a similar concept, but relating to chanukah)

The Four Sons

2006-04-05T17:50:00.000-04:00

A few years ago I heard a beautiful pshat on the four sons of the hagada, especially in light of events of the last hundred years or so, it definitely has meaning and some validity.
The four sons can be interpreted as four generations of sons within the same family.
The "chochom" is the patriarch of this thread of the family. He was a righteous man, a learned man, and as he sits at the seder, he is still involved in the process of learning more and asking questions. Unfortunately, as happens to all of us, some more than others, he fell on some hard times. Perhaps he even exclaimed as many americans did in the 20s, or eastern europeans in the 40s, "iz shver tzu zein a yid" it's not easy to be jewish.
His son unfortunately picked up on the negativity and he no longer followed in the ways of his father(s). He went on to become the "rasha". He is scornful, he mocks the entire process.
The rasha has a son. His son is a "tam". The tam doesn't see any of the traditions from his father, but every now and then they visit his grandfather, the chochom, and he can sit on his zeide's lap and ask him "what is all this?"
Unfortunately, by the time the tam's son is born, his zeide, the chochom, has passed away. This child, is the "she'ayno yodea lishol". According to this pshat, it's not so much that he doesn't know how to ask, it's that he doesn't have WHO to ask.

The hagada is generally more upbeat and this pshat ends on somewhat of a down note, so in an effort to look at things more positively I would like to add my own twist to this pshat.
We know that the four cups of wine are a remez to the four terms of geula in the pesukim, but wait, there's a fifth term, the most positive one of all, "V'Hayvaisee", the ultimate geula. However, it hasn't happened yet, and therefore we only have the four cups, but as a remez to the ultimate geula, we have the kos shel eliyahu, the fifth cup.
I'd like to say that without any doubt there is no coincidence to the number four. The four sons definitely tie in to the four cups and the four terms of geula, but again, what about the fifth term. So what I'd like to add to this pshat that I quoted above is that, even though the generations went through their ups and downs, that pintele yid remains. There is at least some spark. "At psach lo". Leave the door open. Through that, perhaps the fifth generation, the fifth son, will feel something, something more than his father did, and somehow mysteriously find his way to a Gateways or an Ohr Sameach (or some other wonderful organization like them) and shock everyone and be "chozer bitshuva" and continue to pave the way to bring about the ultimate geula.

Have a Chag Kasher V'Sameach!!

I want my hour back!

2006-04-02T15:59:00.000-04:00

I know, logically it's just one hour.
That's all it really is.
In a way, it isn't really even that much.
Yet, for some reason I feel like I lost something.
Will I be able to re-capture it?
I sure hope so.
It means a lot to me.
I don't deal well when it comes to losing things.
Especially when they mean a lot to me.
Wish me luck!

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

2006-03-31T11:46:00.000-05:00

I will admit, I don't cook often. It's not that I can't, it's just that I don't really know how. I'm a guy. I have a difficult time following instructions and directions.
Anyway, last week, I decided to do my wife a favor and prepare something for shabbos. She was shocked. I was home early and happened to have had the time, so I figured, why not? I got a recipe over the phone from someone that happened to have been eating with us Friday night and I cooked.
(drumroll please......)
The Friday night meal came and my "masterpiece" was met with rave reviews from all, including the person who gave me the recipe.
So, last night, I volunteered to make it again. There was one main difference though, this time I wasn't alone in the kitchen. The person that gave me the recipe happened to have been there as well. I did everything the same way as I had the previous week, except this time, it was "not enough of this, that's not cut small enough, too much of that." etc etc etc. Needless to say, I did what I think most men would do in that situation.... I left the kitchen. Now I really understand the meaning of the phrase, "Too many cooks......"

Stupid Comments

2006-03-29T11:06:00.000-05:00

Don't you hate it when people make stupid comments. Almost everyone does at one time or another. You know the kind of comments that I mean, the ones that leave you shaking your head and wondering, does that person ever think before he/she opens his/her mouth?
I'll give you an example. A few years ago I was with a friend of mine and he accidentally locked his keys in the car. The following comments were really made, although it was years ago so I am not necessarily quoting verbatim....
We came back inside and he said that he accidentally locked his keys in the car, and a gentleman present said "Did you check to see if one or more of the doors are unlocked?" My friend through gritted teeth basically responded saying if one of the doors was unlocked the keys wouldn't be locked inside.
gentleman: maybe one of the windows is open?
my friend: again, if that were the case, we wouldn't be locked out.
gentleman: do you have a spare key in your wallet?
at this point I was shocked that my friend didn't kill the gentleman. His response although no longer as calm, was similar to the previous answer.... Would I be in here if I had a copy of the key in my wallet? Wouldn't I already be on my way home??
Now I know that the gentleman meant well, but seriously..... Thankfully he didn't top it off by saying, "well if you had a copy of the key in your wallet, you wouldn't be in this predicament"

Oh Well.....

2006-03-27T23:06:00.000-05:00

I had come up with a few original ideas for posts and lately, by the time I turned around and/or blinked, others had beaten me to the punch.

Last week, I had planned on posting regarding Gush Katif and the unfortunate settlers who were so horribly mistreated by our own government. As it turns out, Frumgirl . beat me to the punch with her post, Expelled Again! . I can't complain though, she did a great job on the post.
At this point, the best I can do is post the video from Neve Dekalim, which had to be one of the most moving videos I have ever seen.

For those of you that don't think that the settlers were mistreated, watch the video and feel their pain.

I don't want to detract from the video, but I just received an interesting e-mail with a way to help our brothers in Israel in a way that benefits us as well, Eat out and help our brothers .

You're So Vain

2006-03-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

You're soooo vain
You probably think this post is about you
You're soooo vain
I'll bet you think this post is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Tough dilemma here. I'm going to rank on and criticize you, so maybe it isn't about you. After all, you're perfect, so this post can't possibly be about you. But everything is about you, isn't it? Which means that in some way, yes, this post could be about you. Well, you will never read this, but I can tell you, it IS all about YOU.

I have never met anyone so self centered and self focused in my entire life. I have heard of nearsightedness, but not to the extent that I have seen in you. Yes, you do good things, you are a kind and wonderful person, but why is it that I ALWAYS have to hear about every good thing that you do? It makes me believe that the only time that you do good is still only when you benefit from it. Why can't you be like the rest of us and benefit internally, knowing that you have done a good thing and helped someone in need. Why the need for the banner and the advertisements?

We recently had a discussion/argument and you got all insulted and bent out of shape. If you would have taken a second, and taken a step back, you would have realized that what I was saying made so much sense. Not for my benefit, but for the sake of the other people. But you can't realize that. NO. It must be about YOU.

You have always had issues in both your professional life and your family life. Did you ever consider that it's because you don't care about anybody but yourself? No, I doubt you can even comprehend such a concept.

Even the last conversation we had. First you kept talking and talking and wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. Then again, why should you. What you have to say is important. You must be heard.
You kept pushing me for my job title. Don't you realize that my title means nothing to me? I know you need it so that you can brag about your ..... the ....... That's not me. Sorry. BH, I am making a good salary, and I am not asking you to borrow money (I'll never make that mistake again) shouldn't that be enough? It is to me.

Circumstances have forced us together, and yes, in spite of everything that I wrote I do like you. I even love you. But we are soooooo different. I can't begin to count the ways. I accept you for who and what you are, mainly because I know that you will NEVER change. Why should you, you're perfect, right?

I have never said this to your face. I don't plan to, ever. Why? Because if I did that would be disrespectful and besides it wouldn't change anything other than denting your ever so sensitive ego. It's enough your family and everyone around you knows. Speaking of which, do you have any close friends? Think about that.

Inspiring... Ma Rabu Maasecha Hashem - II

2006-03-16T11:09:00.000-05:00

I am still too tired from Purim and the crazy week that I'm having, not to mention trying to catch up for the time missed due to Purim.

I apologize for not coming up with something more original, but I found the following link (once there, click on view presentation) to be extremely inspirational and beautiful, even if it came from a non-jewish source.... ENJOY!

Yeshno Am Echad - The Purim Message

2006-03-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

In the Megilla, Haman said about the jewish nation that we are (or were at the time) "Am Echad, Mefuzar Umeforad Bein Ha'amim", one nation, split and divided among the nations. The simple translation is that the jews were in exile at the time, and didn't have a country or land of their own, but they were scattered around the world and divided amongst the other nations.
Chazal tell us that Haman was referring to a different weakness. Klal Yisrael was a nation among other nations that was split and divided within itself. We are supposed to be a nation of "Echad", oneness on our own and with Hashem, instead we were splintered and therefore weak and susceptible to an attack.
Mordechai and Esther realized right away what the problem was and what the antidote was. "Laich Knos es Kol Hayehudim" they gathered all the jews together. Only when the jews united as one were we able to stave off Haman's attack and deadly efforts.
They took it one step further, for all generations, they set up the mitzvos of Matanos L'evyonim and Mishloach Manos. We never see an instance in tanach where special mitzvos were set up to commemorate a victory. This case is different because it wasn't to commemorate a victory, it was a guideline for future generations. Through the mitzvos of Mmatanos L'evyonim and Mishloach Manos, it brings jews together and hopefully will prevent future calamities.
I look around today and I don't think the jewish people have EVER been more splintered and fractioned. Every splinter, has yet another splinter, yet another level and another. Ashkenazim/Sephardim, Chassidim/Litvaks, Black Hat/Kipa Seruga, etc etc etc
Based on Haman's logic, we seem (chas v'shalom) primed for another attack.
We know the first Bais Hamikdash was destroyed for being over on the three cardinal sins, but the Bais Hamikdash was rebuilt seventy years later. The second Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because of sin'as chinam and we are still waiting for it to be re-built, but we are obviously still mired in the throes of this aveira.
Let's take it upon ourselves to focus on this, the true message of Purim, and not just on the drinking ourselves silly aspect, and hopefully bring an end to our galus.

A Freilichen Purim!!

Emes Ata Hu......

2006-03-09T10:48:00.000-05:00

This morning on my way in to work I was listening to a tape of a lecture given by Rabbi Nasan Gamezde. For anyone who is not familiar with Rabbi Gamezde, he is the son of the King of Swaziland. Yes, he is an african prince, and gave it up to become not only a jew, but a frum torah jew, and not only that, but a rabbi as well.
Listening to him made me think back to a few months earlier. Around Thanksgiving time, I had heard another speaker who touts himself as a six year old jew. He was a christian minister, who converted to yiddishkeit six years ago. Finally, I have a friend who has a relative that married an african american ger. I once spent a shabbos shmoozing with this ger and gained so much from the experience.
What's the common thread between the three? All three used pretty much the same line. When they discovered yiddishkeit they just realized that it was the "emes", the pure truth. One of them compared it to turning on a light switch.
Here are three souls, all very unlikely candidates for geirus and lo and behold, they are not only frum, I believe they are without doubt frummer than me. They all three have an excitement and an enthusiasm for yiddishkeit that I have never seen in a fellow "FFB". I thought one of them put it best when he said, "A ger naturally feels closer to Hashem, because he has nobody else".
They are proud that they are jewish. You would think it would be more difficult for them than for us, but whereas we sometimes try to hide the fact that we are jewish, they display it as a banner for all to see.
What a wonderful thing to see and experience and to learn from. Where is our enthusiasm?? Where is our excitement??? It's not because it's fresher to them. Rabbi Gamezde was megayer more than twenty years ago, as was my friend's relative.
Do we take the truth for granted because we were born into it? what an absolute shame. We must remind ourselves and energize ourselves. Hashem Elokaychem EMES!!!

Think Well Before You Speak

2006-03-07T12:55:00.000-05:00

Today is Adar 7, the yahrtzeit of Moshe Rabbainu, Rabban shel Yisrael.
I felt it appropriate to post this story/piece of mussar.....

This is a story that will shock you, as it brings home to us the power of words and the care one must exercise when speaking to others.
The whole of Yerushalayim was in an uproar! A well-known man, a Belzer Chasid , and his wife had just given birth to their first child - a boy - after being childless for twenty-eight years! The sholom zachor that Friday night was the event of the year. Well over a thousand people came by to wish Mazel Tov to the proud and exhausted father. The food supply ran out in short order as did the drinks, but no one seemed to mind. At the height of the celebration, the crowd quieted down as the father indicated that he would like to say a few words. "Moreh V'Rabbosai ," he began in a loud voice, "thank you all for coming and sharing in the simcha . Although I have no more food to offer, let me at least tell over a story which I'm sure you'll appreciate."
The ecstatic new father composed himself and continued. "When I was a bochur learning in the Belzer Yeshiva , there was a cleaning lady who would come by every day to tidy up and scrub the Beis Medrash and adjoining rooms. She was a fixture in the yeshiva and devoted her life to maintaining the yeshiva building. She was, however, not a wealthy person by any stretch and as her own family grew, she was at a loss of options as far as taking care of her children. She decided to bring her kids with her to work, and as she cleaned and mopped in one area of the building, the young children would run amuck, screaming, crying and generally causing quite a commotion, in the rest of the yeshiva. At first, we put up with it; we even thought it was cute for a time. But after a while, the kids really began to 'shter' us in our learning and davening. Try as we might to control them, they wouldn't listen and continued on in their childish games and noise. A number of younger bochurim asked me, as one of the oldest in the chaburah, to ask her not to bring her children anymore to the yeshiva
"I agreed to talk to her and I brazenly walked up to her and told her that her kids were disturbing everyone in yeshiva and she should find some sort of alternative method of child-care for them. I'll never forget how she looked at me with tired eyes and said, 'Bochur , you should never have tsaar gidul banim (the pain and anguish that one goes through when raising children.) The crowd gasped.
"As many of you know," continued the father, "my wife and I have been to countless doctors who've recommended every sort of treatment. We moved abroad for awhile to be near an 'expert' which proved to be fruitless. One last, extreme treatment was offered and after trying that, it too, turned out to be just a fantasy; we felt doomed to a life without the pleasure of raising a yiddishe family.
"After that last attempt, as we walked back into the apartment that we lived in for the past twenty-eight years, our entire sad situation hit us full force, like a ton of bricks. Together, we broke down crying, trying to figure out why Hashem was testing us this way. All of a sudden, I remembered the episode with the cleaning lady and the "brocha" she had given me. It occurred to me to try and reach her (after all these years, who knows where she would be?) and ask for forgiveness. I spent hours on the phone until I came up with an address, which I ran over to immediately. She did not recognize me obviously, but when I told her over the story, a spark flickered in her eyes. I tearfully apologized for my harsh words and she graciously forgave me with her whole heart."
Beaming from ear to ear, the father announced, " Rabbosai, that took place exactly nine months ago!"
Let's learn from this story; even we feel we're well within our rights, walk as if on eggshells when confronting another individual.

Simcha - Joy/Happiness

2006-03-01T21:09:00.000-05:00

Mishenichnas Adar Marbim B'Simcha.

There are many different types and different levels of simcha. Today let's discuss a very simple pleasure. The car's odometer.
I'm not sure why but I get a certain level of joy every time my car odometer hits a new round number, 25,000, 30,000, 40,000. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I definitely do, and I don't think I'm the only one.
I wish someone could explain it to me though.

Friends

2006-02-28T11:20:00.000-05:00

The saying goes, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family". That saying is obviously true, and when people say it they are usually focusing on the negative, dealing with family issues. I, however, want to take this opportunity to focus on the positive. I don’t know where I would be without my friends.

While I am friends with someone, I am extremely dedicated to them, and hope and expect that they will be to me as well. When the time comes to move on, and in almost all situations, that time invariably comes, I retain the friendship and try to maintain the communication, but it clearly exists on a very different level. Then again, although we experienced a few year break, I am once again friends with the first friend that I ever had. Our families go back years before we were born, and now he and I daven in the same shul again.
When I moved to my current home, my wife and I were discussing the friends that we were leaving behind. It disappointed her, but I had a different approach. It didn't really bother me. I knew that we would make new friends and great new friends in our new community, just as we had in the old one, if not better (and we have). It sounds strange considering the importance that I seem to be placing on friends and friendships, but to me, it actually makes sense.
When we moved, in my head, it was almost necessary for us to find new friends. It was as if we grew and our friends didn't grow with us, and we needed to find new friends at our "new level". I hope that doesn’t sound haughty because that’s not the way it’s intended. Friendships are usually based on connections and similarities, and as those wane...... generally, so does the level of the friendships.

Throughout my life, I have BH had many friends. Interestingly, I have always had many people that I am friendly with at a given time, but I have not always had a "best" friend (excluding spouses here). My wife and I have often discussed that she usually has one best friend and many other friends. I generally tend to have different friends for different purposes. Different friends to suit my different needs. I don’t need one friend to be an all-inclusive package. I can have one sports buddy, one going-out buddy, one shul buddy, one work buddy, etc etc etc. and I appreciate them all very much.
Somehow I am able to juggle them all, and I think each one believes that they are one of my closest friends, and in fact, they are, so I guess it works.
These days, however, I do have a best friend. A friend that I am very thankful for and appreciate having in my life. You know the kind of best friend that I’m talking about.
Someone that you look forward to talking to and makes you smile as soon as you hear his/her voice no matter what else is going on in your life.
Someone with whom you look forward to sharing events in your life and have them share theirs with you as well.
Someone who when something interesting happens in your life, your immediate first thought is to call and tell them.
Someone to whom you can tell ANYTHING and you know won’t judge you.
Someone who you can even tell that you have a blog and it doesn't affect what you write on it.
Someone with whom time always flies when you are together because inevitably whatever you are doing, it's fun.
Someone that hurts when you hurt and you feel their hurt when they are hurting as well.
Someone that can cheer you up regardless of how down you are feeling.
Someone that will read this blog and even though I haven't mentioned any names, will instinctively know that this really is meant for them.

Thanks. I’m glad I “chose” you.

What is your most desired invention??

2006-02-23T10:17:00.000-05:00

I have said this for years, and the fact that my answer still remains the same I think is an indication that my most desired invention, truly would make my life that much better.
Every morning after davening, breakfast maybe and possibly a good morning to my kids, I set off to work in my car. What happens next totally impacts the rest of my day. No matter how relaxed I start out, and what I have planned for the ride, the traffic volumes affect what mood I will be in when I reach my office. It still amazes me how one stretch of 3-5 miles that obviously won't take more than five minutes to travel on a Sunday or holiday, can take close to an hour on a working day. Nothing annoys me more than coming home to my family in a crummy mood because I spent far longer on the roads getting home than I should have.

That being said, without question, my most desired invention would be a transporter similar to the ones used on Star Trek (no I am not a trekkie). Imagine being able to get from home to work in ten seconds. I would always be in a good mood when I got to work and when I got home. I would be home more and be able to spend much more time home with my family.
That's just the beginning though, if I oversleep, I can transport myself further west and still catch minyan. Can you imagine, being able to transport yourself and daven at the kotel every day? You could have breakfast, lunch and dinner in three different cities, every day of the week. The possibilities are endless and limitless.
I would therefore go deep into debt to pay anyone who can invent this, in the long run it would make my life that much more calm and adventuresome.
GET CRACKING GUYS!

You're Talking When???

2006-02-21T11:00:00.000-05:00

I observed something this morning that really irked me.
On the bright side though, it gave me something to blog about.
V'Amaich Kulam Tzadikim and Chaverim Kol Yisrael.....
That being said, there is a time and a place for everything. I davened this morning in a shul other than my own and was astounded at the volume level of talking during charazas hashatz. I was much younger than the talkers and I felt it in appropriate for me to be giving them mussar, after all, who am I? They don't know that I am Frum Idealist.

Obviously we shouldn't be talking in shul at all. After all, we have a meeting with Hakadosh Boruch Hu. How dare we interrupt to talk to our friends? Can you imagine having a meeting with the CEO of your company and answering your cell phone to talk to your buddy when he calls? You would be fired immediately.

I wanted to focus though on two specific points today.

#1 - Talking with your tefillin on. The Shulchan Aruch is very clear on how serious this is and how it should be avoided at almost any cost. Just to give you an understanding... The Shulchan Aruch states that one should keep their tefillin on by a bris. Why? Because Tefillin is an Os and Bris is an Os. If you look around nowadays, you rarely find anyone other than the baal simcha and one or two rabbanim that keep their tefillin on. Why? One of the gedolei hador was asked this question and answered something to the effect of, being that there is generally a delay between the end of davening and the bris itself, people will likely be talking, and it's better they take their tefillin off so that they are not talking with their tefillin on than keeping their tefillin on for the bris.

#2 - Talking during chazaras hashatz. The Shulchan Aruch states that someone who talks during chazaras hashatz, "godol avono min'so". That phrase only appears one other time, anywhere. After Hashem admonishes Kayin for killing Hevel, Kayin asks, "godol avoni min'so??". Rashi says "Bitmiya", he was asking Hashem if his sin, murder, technically genocide, after all, he killed a quarter of the world's population, is that astounding. The Shulchan Aruch isn't asking, he is TELLING us, YES, the sin of talking during chazaras hashatz IS that astounding.
A few weeks ago I had posted about the importance and value of the amens of a complete chazaras hashatz as opposed to a "heicha kedusha". When discussing my post with someone, he educated me to the fact that at one point the Rambam did away with chazaras hashatz altogether, because people couldn't control themselves and not talk, and it was better not to have chazaras hashatz than to have talking during charazas hashatz. Mind Boggling!!! Imagine if the Rambam lived today???

I'm not saying not to be friendy, but do it at an appropriate time.

A Little AFI History

2006-02-16T16:53:00.000-05:00

This shabbos marks an anniversary for me. Parshas Yisro was the first shabbos that I spent with my wife's family in their neighborhood and at their shul. You are probably wondering how or why I remember that. The answer is very simple.
At one point over the course of the shabbos, my then, future father-in-law approached me. He was telling me how appropriate it was that Parshas Yisro was the first shabbos that I spent with them. Why? Because in Parshas Yisro, Moshe's father-in-law gives him advice and the Torah tells us, "Vayishma Moshe L'kol Chosno, Vayaas Kol Asher Amar", "And Moshe listened to his father-in-law and did everything that he said. This should be a lesson to you, dear AFI, in father-in-law/son-in-law relationships."
I looked him straight in the eye with a smirk on my face, and responded how I agreed that it truly was an appropriate shabbos for me to be with them. Why? Because shortly after the passuk that my f-i-l quoted, the Torah tells us, "Vayshalach Moshe Es Chosno, Vayelech Lo El Artzo" "And Moshe sent his father-in-law away and he, Yisro, went back to his land. True, Moshe listened to his father-in-law, but that's because in that situation, he gave him good advice. However, immediately afterwards Moshe sent Yisro packing in response to his f-i-l butting into his life. This should be a lesson to you dear future f-i-l, in father-in-law/son-in-law relationships."

Happy Day

2006-02-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

Today is a happy day for American men. No, it's not because yesterday was Valentine's Day and now the pressure is off. Today is the day that the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue hits the stands and the mailboxes. It's amazing seeing how much happier men are today than they were yesterday. It's the craziest phenomenon. The men we know (at least the ones I know) don't know these women, they'll never meet or speak to them. Yet, looking at their pictures, seems to bring joy to their hearts. At least that's what my other guy friends tell me. ;-)

Chukas Hagoyim or just Hallmark???

2006-02-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

Today is Valentine's Day. To be more accurate it's really St. Valentine's Day. Yet Jews all around are wishing each other a Happy Valentine's Day. Is this an issue of chukas hagoyim?
My opinion would be that it's not. In my opinion, Valentine's Day falls under the same category as Mother's Day, Father's Day and Secretary's Day. Which means that I don't have halachic issues with it, I have other issues. I know, I have many issues, very funny.
These "holidays" were not determined by any religious organization or religious group, and therefore I don't see it as a halachic problem, they were "holidays" that Hallmark created in order to boost revenues. Someone at Hallmark had the brilliant idea to create these "holidays" to give people excuses to buy their greeting cards.
I'm sorry, but I refuse to give in to this blatant manipulation. Nobody's is going to tell me when to tell my mother, father or wife that I love them and nobody will tell me when to tell my secretary that I appreciate them. I will do that on my own thank you very much.
Due to the pressures of outside society, I will wish my loved ones the respective wish on their respective special day, but I refuse to give Hallmark a penny of my hard earned money for this venture. On principle!
Next the fashion industry will be telling me how wide my tie should be, or how many buttons I should have on my suit jacket. I am putting my foot down NOW!

That all being said, I do love chocolate, and while I will not post a blog about my love for food, that's been overdone already, I will attach this link to some great chocolate related quotes. I have too many favorites to enumerate, so feel free to check them out and let me know which are your favorites.

Torah Shebichsav

2006-02-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

We live in an era where all good frum boys go to yeshiva and are taught to learn gemara. Not only are they taught to learn it, but unfortunately they are "taught" that gemara is the end all be all of the jewish religion. True, chazal teaches us to learn gemara because it includes everything else, but I don't think they meant it to the exclusion of all other learning as we are seeing these days. BH we are seeing a major increase in torah learning especially thanks to daf yomi. Don't get me wrong, I am not chas v'shalom knocking daf yomi, I think it's a wonderful thing, but take a few minutes and learn some torah shebichsav as well. It's getting to a point where our children will know that Yitzchak was Yaakov's father and Avrohom was Yitzchak's, not because it's written in chumash, but because it's brought down in the gemara.
There was a famous story (and I know the girl so I can vouch for the story's veracity) which took place when I was dating, about a girl who mentioned Eldad and Maidad on her date. The young man she was with responded with, "sorry, we don't learn navi in yeshiva".
His answer is wrong on so many levels. It's a shame that the boys don't learn navi, but the reason they don't is because the yeshivas are supposed to teach the tools to learn, and the boys stick to the tools and nothing else. How many boys these days know our rich history? I'm not even going into the fact that this young man, probably one of the best learners in his yeshiva, didn't even realize that Eldad and Maidad are in chumash, not navi. That my friends is a true crime.

For one hundred bonus points, who knows who Eldad and Maidad's parents were?

Where's Our Focus??

2006-02-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

I have been reflecting these last few days. Between my experience this past Sunday, a post that I read on someone else's blog and a video that I received in e-mail, I have started to focus on my perspectives. Where do we put the majority of our time and efforts?
Our lives are so busy, we are running from here to there and then back. We don't take the time to appreciate the life that we are leading. Someone once advised me to "work to live", not the other way around. Great advice, although not so easy to heed. We are so concerned about making money so that our family has a great life and everything they want, we tend to deprive them of the one thing that they need most, US!
How many of us spend so many hours working or in transit, that our kids only see us on shabbos? Even then, we are so exhausted from the amount of hours that we worked during the week, that we spend most of shabbos asleep. When do our children see us awake and in action?
Even when they do talk to us, how often are we REALLY paying attention? How many times do we listen to them with one ear, while checking e-mail, blackberry or cell phone with some, if not most, of our attention.
After a hundred twenty years, if the best thing that people or your family can say about you is that you were a great worker and employee, there's something very wrong with that situation. It's our family that counts the most. At least it should be. I don't know about you guys, but nothing brings me more joy than seeing my child smiling at me or telling me a story of what happened in school. I have been working on changing my focus, and I recommend it for everyone else as well. The rewards will definitely make the effort worthwhile. I know it's only been a few days, but I have been trying to get home from work a little bit earlier so that I can spend time with them, and taking a second to stop and kiss them before leaving in the morning. It's a few little things, but I'm sure it will make a big difference to them in the long run.
The video that I referred to earlier, really drove home this point. I had really wanted to attach it to this post, but I couldn't figure out how or if it was possible. If anyone is interested in seeing it, by all means, e-mail me and I will forward it to you. I think it's worth seeing. It brought tears to my eyes.

The Day After...

2006-02-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

I remember very vividly back to my childhood years and the days that I dreaded the most. It was always the day after. The day after my birthday was traditionally one of the most depressing days of the year. In camp, the most depressing night was always the night after Visiting Day.
Every year I would anxiously look forward to my birthday. What would this one do, what would that one do, what presents would I get, etc etc etc. Then my birthday would come and it would inevitably not live up to my expectations. Few friends would remember, the presents would be somewhat weak, if at all. What a letdown. The next day that letdown and void would only continue and get that much worse. 364 days to my next birthday. I don't know if I would forget the fact that the birthday wasn't the greatest or I would just look forward to next year's sure that it would be great. To some degree it ties in to my "Great Expectations" post from a few weeks back.
In any case, even though I am older, nothing has really changed. Yesterday was BH a great day, not my birthday, and having nothing to do with the SuperBowl, and now today I am once again left with that feeling of void. I should be reveling in how great yesterday was, and to some degree I am, but at the same time, I am down. As an adult, I reflect differently than I did as a child. Did I make the most out of the day yesterday? Did I absorb every minute and second that I should have?
Too late now. That opportunity is gone. Others will come, but that one is gone. I think I made the most of it. I really hope that I did. It wasn't easy, so many other distractions. I did the best I could. In the end, is that enough?? Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Life goes on. I hope I am the better for it, and will be even more conscious in the future to revel in the moment and focus on what's really important. Life is great, right?????

So, why am I still down?

Everything In Moderation

2006-02-02T12:00:00.000-05:00

Lately while blogging I have read what, as an orthodox frum jew, I consider to be some strange things.
On one blog I read about women shaving their heads. One was talking about TV and movies and the fact that Chassidim don’t involve themselves with that. Another, the craziest in my opinion, discussed Judaism’s issue with sex.
It made me think a lot about chassidus and about how it differs from my way of thinking. Granted chassidus does not advocate celibacy, that’s a whole different issue.
One of the differences that I always noticed between us as Jews, and the Christians/Catholics, was that we understood moderation. They did not.
Obviously we have laws that restrict us from many things, but once we get past the laws, we are living in a corporeal world. Sex in Judaism is not forbidden or prohibited or only for procreation. Our Rabbis and leaders engage in sexual activity. However, it’s done in such a way as to emphasize the spirituality of the union of husband and wife.
This is directly opposed to Catholicism where sex is a “necessary evil” for procreation and abstaining makes one better or holier. This is not natural. Hashem did not create the world this way. I hate to say it but that’s why you see priests and altar boys…….
As it relates to women’s hair, (yes, it’s supposed to be covered), colors of clothing, types and quantities of kosher foods that we eat and in my opinion even television and movies, moderation, moderation, moderation is the direction in which we should be going.
To some degree, I understand why chassidus chooses to exclude themselves from the rest of the goyish society, but for me it doesn’t work. Generally if a child is prohibited from doing something, it only makes them want it more. Why else would we have imitation shrimp, crab and lobster? Do we really want or need those foods, or is it only because we can’t have them?
My wife once heard a woman lecturer, I think her name was Tova Mordechai, who grew up in a convent. She now is frum and speaks, traveling the world, wearing bright clothing (she was wearing a bright red dress when my wife heard her) and eating smorgasbords of food (no she is not fat, I was simply making a point), to offset her years of being allowed to only wear black and white and eat only old bread and water.
There are simanim and simanim in shulchan aruch, teaching us the torah way to do the most mundane things (which I will not get into here), but the point is, doing things the torah way, means taking the most mundane acts and objects and elevating them to a higher level, by using and doing them properly in the way that Hashem would want you to do them.
Do you see what I’m getting at? I believe that to be a frum torah jew means to involve yourself in the world, but in moderation and doing it in a way that both elevates yourself as well as those around you, not to mention the opportunities to make a kiddush hashem, both with Jews and non-Jews alike.

A Few Precious Minutes

2006-01-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

As of a few hours ago I had resigned myself to the fact that I would not be blogging today. The well had dried up. I was out of ideas. I had even informed one of my fellow readers of that fact. Life, however, is one big blogging opportunity. Let me tell you what happened.
I went to go daven mincha. Normally that shouldn't be that traumatic of an experience. I was asked to daven for the amud, nothing necessarily shocking about that either. However, at that point, the rabbi turned to me and said, the words that (in my mind, unfortunately) many jews long to hear, "heicha kedusha". For my women readers and others that may not be familiar, instead of everyone saying shmoneh esray together and then the chazan repeating the entire shmoneh esray himself, with a heicha kedusha, the chazan recites until after kedusha out loud and then finishes the rest of his shmoneh esray silently while every one does as well.
I asked the rabbi why he made that decision. Mind you, I have been davening at that minyan for quite some time, and he just decided to make the switch today. He just shrugged his shoulders. Someone pointed out that it's Rosh Chodesh and doing it that way would mean that yaaleh veyavo wouldn't get recited out loud. The Rabbi didn't care. He just shrugged his shoulders again and said this is the way it's going to be.
It is absolutely mind-boggling to me. I will exaggerate by saying that heicha kedusha will save a grand total of 4-5 minutes. It's probably more like 2-3. Are we THAT pressed for time that we can't spare an extra 4-5 minutes for our maker??? It's like the roar of approval that takes place if there is a chosson present or bris taking place which means that tachanun won't be said. How long does it take to say tachanun? Definitely not more than 2-3 minutes. I know that we are a generation of short attention spans, but this is absolutely ridiculous.
The heicha kedusha method, cuts out the saying out loud and thereby preventing of the kahal's being able answer amen to, 16 out of 19 berachos and the answering of modim. I recently read a wonderful sefer/book by a woman named Esther Stern on the power of the one word Amen. I still find it hard to believe and have no idea what a rabbi (after 120 years) will answer when asked how he could prevent so many Amens from being answered.
What did I do, you ask? I stayed until after kedusha. Then I left and davened at another minyan which repeated the full shmoneh esray. A Gutten Chodesh.

Din or Rachamim???

2006-01-28T20:29:00.000-05:00

The parsha starts with the pasuk, “Vayedaber Elokim el Moshe, vayomer ailav, ani Hashem”. Chazal struggle with understanding why it’s written with two different names of G-d in the same pasuk. I heard a beautiful pshat this shabbos that I simply had to share here.
We are taught that Elokim is midas hadin – judgement and the name Hashem is midas harachamim - mercy/compassion. At first this makes the pasuk even harder to understand.
I heard in the name of Rav Hutner the following example to explain the pasuk. A person (chas v’shalom) breaks their leg, and they are upset about having been dealt with midas hadin. While they are in the hospital, they run a battery of tests and discover a much worse ailment, but having caught it at such an early stage, (boruch hashem) they are able to treat it. If not for the breaking of the leg, they would not have caught the ailment in time, and the result could and most likely would have been that much worse. Reflecting back, one realizes that breaking the leg was in fact NOT midas hadin, it was really midas harachamim. There are many other examples that explain this sentiment.
At the end of last week’s parsha, Moshe is complaining to Hashem that not only have Bnei Yisroel not been redeemed, but the Mitriyim have made their lives worse. We learned only years later that the extra difficulty of those years allowed them to leave Mitzrayim that much earlier.
Now we can understand the pasuk better. “Vayedaber Elokim el Moshe”. What appeared to be midas hadin was the way Moshe originally viewed it, but Hashem told him, don’t worry, “Vayomer ailav, ani Hashem” trust me, it’s really for their benefit and I am dealing with them with midas harachamim.

Hakaras Hatov

2006-01-26T10:56:00.000-05:00

In Parshas Shemos we learn about Moshe as a baby being placed in the basket in the Nile and then subsequently we are taught the story of how Moshe killed the Mitzri and buried him in the sand. Moshe then disappears off the scene for about forty years, during which we hear nothing about him in the Torah and only what we can piece together from midrashim.
Based on the last fact, it's clear to us that not every story that took place in Moshe's life appeared in the Torah only those from which we learn out something. What do we learn out from the fact that he killed the Mitzri and buried him in the sand?
We fast forward to this week's parsha, parshas Vaera. Moshe is commanded by Hashem to bring about the makos on Mitzrayim. However, when it comes to the makos of dom, tzefardea and kinim, it is Aharon that brings them about not Moshe. Why not Moshe?
Chazal tell us that the reason is that dom and tzefardea came from the water and kinim came from the dirt of Mitzrayim. Moshe owed the water hakaras hatov for saving his life when he was a baby, and the dirt for saving his life when he buried the Mitzri. This is mind-boggling. Firstly, we are talking about two inanimate objects. Secondly, the dirt didn't even save Moshe. The next day already word got back to Paroh as to what happened.
The moral is obviously, even though the dirt is inanimate AND it didn't really do a great job of saving Moshe, nevertheless Moshe owed the dirt hakaras hatov, and I'm sure that's why that story is included in the Torah. How many people, let alone inanimate objects play such a vital role in our lives. Do we ever take the time to truly appreciate them and show them proper hakaras hatov?
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of my readers and especially those that comment on my blog. There is no question that I get a certain satisfaction seeing, that of all blogs you chose to come to read mine (among others obviously) and when you take the time to comment, that's really the icing on the cake and makes it all worthwhile and truly satisfying.
Thanks.

Nisyonos

2006-01-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

My last (slightly less than) 24 hours have been rather interesting. It started with a phone call that I received from my wife informing me that our car was stolen. I was thinking how much the insurance company will love us, especially after I had been in an accident, ten days earlier. Something didn’t sound right to me. Why would they steal our car of all cars available? Believe me, it’s a car, not an expensive car, it's a fairly typical car on the road. I did a quick search on the internet, and sure enough it was not stolen. Actually, it was, but not by your run-of-the-mill thieves, it was “stolen” by the Marshal’s office.
Time was ticking. I had to drive a half hour or more to pick up my wife and get over to the Marshal’s office before they closed at 5 PM. The car was towed at 3 PM, my wife noticed it was missing when she got back to the spot close to 4 PM. And the race was on.
My wife had called the police when she thought the car was stolen and when I pulled up to where she was, they had finally arrived. As much as I motioned and waved, she was engrossed in conversation with the police as precious moments ticked by. She finally got into the car and off we raced to the Marshal’s office, flying at incredible speeds and arriving at 5:02 PM. No amount of begging of pleading would convince them to allow us to get our car last night. Of course that meant paying for an extra day of “storage”.
My initial reaction was to yell and scream at her. If not for the unnecessary continued conversation with the police, we would have made it. Somehow I was able to be “misgaber on my yetzer”. I didn’t yell. After all, what good would it have done? It wouldn’t have changed anything. Not in this situation, and not for future situations. It turns out she was under the impression that we had more time.
Fast forward to this morning. Obviously I was going to be late to work, so I went to a later minyan. I was one of six. More frustration and aggravation.
I left the house with my wife to once again go to the Marshal’s office and the traffic was horrendous. It took us a horrific amount of time to get there. Of course, what’s going through my head is, if not for that continued conversation, we would have been done with this yesterday. Again though, I kept my mouth shut. We called ahead to get the exact amount needed and then found out that it can only be paid cash. Try and find a cash machine in that area….. MORE aggravation……
Finally get to the office and turns out that they overquoted us, I had the money, paid the marshal, and then went to drive a half hour to the impound lot to get the car. Is there a reason, the lot and the payment office couldn’t be near each other? At least a little closer. I know why. Just to cause MORE aggravation.
Well, FINALLY I get to the impound lot and it turns out that the marshal did NOT over quote. They included the money that I had to pay at the impound. Luckily, I therefore had the extra cash on me. Crazy, even though it was there for less than 24 hours, I had to pay for two days. As I reached into my wallet to get the money, I hear a groan from the gentleman behind me. He was a religious jew albeit of a different ilk than my wife and myself. He asked incredulously, “you have to pay money here as well?” I know the feeling…… Apparently, between the marshal and the taxi that he had to take to get to the impound lot he didn’t have a dollar on him. I was reaching into my pocket, but before I could, my wife already handed him the money he needed to pay.
They finally brought my car out all filthy and stickered up, it’s amazing what they did to it in such a short time. I left there with a huge smile on my face. All the craziness that I experienced in those twenty hours or so, each one was probably a test to see if I would lose my temper. Were all those things in place just so that when I did arrive at the impound, that other jew had someone willing to help him out? Or being that I didn’t lose my temper, was my reward the fact that I had this one last test, which I believe we passed by giving the man the money without a second thought. While we were waiting for our cars, we were discussing how much aggravation we had both gone through, but at the end of the day, that's all it was, aggravation. BH, we were all healthy and happy, just a few dollars and hours poorer.
One thing is for sure. We do not live in a vacuum. Everything happens for a reason. Even when things appear to be going badly, there is an ultimate good at the end of the road.
Oh, btw, I am finally back at work.

SitComs

2006-01-21T20:07:00.000-05:00

My last post made me think how much sitcoms were a large part of my youth. We were almost synonymous. If it was a sitcom, I was watching it. Whether it was MASH, Taxi, Odd Couple, Honeymooners, Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends, Three's Company, etc etc etc.
I'd like to hear about your favorite sitcoms and if possible also favorite episodes of that sitcom.

Two of my favorites would have to be George as a marine biologist on Seinfeld and Woody's wedding on Cheers.

also, try and come up with an obscure sitcom that nobody remembers. Does anybody remember Double Trouble?

I apologize to my non-tv watching readers.

Nothing

2006-01-19T12:11:00.000-05:00

Well, nobody, and I don't mean Nobody28, thought it was possible, but for the moment I am out of blog ideas. I know. Shocking. I am sure it will pass shortly and I will be kicking myself saying, why didn't you post about ..... well, if that happens, tomorrow IS another day. However, I still feel inspired to post something. So, although I have previously criticized Hollywood for it's lack of originality in movies, I am going to go with a blog concept that's not my own. Don't criticize me. It's different. They get paid millions of dollars to come up with ideas and produce movies. I have yet to be offered a penny to post anything.

Today's post is about nothing. Seinfeld originated the concept and had a very successful show for years and years. I am going to attempt to go with what's been tried and true and behold you have my post about ....... nothing.

I'm not sure if you can see it, but in the upper right hand corner, there is a picture of nothing.

Rainy Days

2006-01-18T10:20:00.000-05:00

Dark and dreary mornings. As it is I get up when it's still dark outside. It definitely was not easy getting up and out of bed this morning. I just wanted to stay in bed all day under the covers, but I had a blog to write, so here I am. It's amazing the incentive that blogging provides.

Great Expectations

2006-01-16T10:54:00.000-05:00

The mind is an incredible processing machine. It's amazing what it processes and how.
I'm sure everyone has had the experience where there were two containers next to one another, identical in all ways except as to the volume of its contents. The mind makes a determination which it will pick up and its expectations as to whether that is the full or (almost) empty container. If the mind "guessed" wrong, an interesting thing happens. If it thinks it's lifting the full container, but in reality it reached for the empty one, the container will fly into the air as if it weighed a feather. If it thinks it's lifting the empty container, but in reality it reached for the full one, there is often a moments hesitation as if the brain has to reprogram to lift the "heavier" container. How heavy are the objects that we are talking about? A three year old can lift a full container. Yet, what the mind expects makes such a difference.
Similarly, if a person is expecting a $50,000 bonus or raise and they ONLY get $10,000, they are terribly disappointed. However, if they were expecting $1000, or less, if anything at all, receiving that same $10,000 would thrill them beyond belief.
This carries true in all facets of our lives. We expect people to act a certain way, and when they don't it upsets us. We expect life to treat us a certain way, and when it doesn't it upsets us.
I once heard a Rav say, one of the problems with our generation is that everyone believes that they were born with a tag on their toe that said "100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back". Unfortunately that's not the case. That's simply not the way life works.
Once again, I look around me, and particularly in blogworld, and I see so many people that are sad and depressed about things in their life. I am NOT chas v'shalom looking to diminish or make light of other peoples' problems, I am sure everyone's issue is serious.
However, maybe, if we figured out a way to lower our expectations, we wouldn't be as sad or depressed or perhaps, more accurately, disappointed with aspects of our lives. Again, I repeat, if someone has health issues or family issues, shalom bayis issues, etc. these are all serious issues, I am not referring to those. I am referring to the smaller things that we all tend to make a bigger deal of, because we expect more. I can tell you that I, for one, I am one of the biggest culprits.
So, from now on, I will do my best to expect nothing from anybody. Yeah, right. I am sure that will work. Seriously, how do we program our brains to expect less? I really think it would make a huge difference in our peace of mind and our quality of life.

In the meantime, smile. If nothing else, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Procrastination

2006-01-12T16:56:00.000-05:00

OK, fine, it's about time. I admit it. I'm a procrastinator. I don't know or understand why. It's just the way I am and the way I've always been. I wait with everything till the last minute. When I travel, either business or pleasure I will inevitably pack at 2 AM the night before the flight. Yes I am usually late when I go places as well.
Why do I do that? Why do I always wait so long?
You want to know why? Because I get away with it. I always (B"H, Bli Ayin Hara, etc etc etc) pull it off, sometimes even with flair. I just recently had a situation at work with this became very evident to me. I also think I enjoy the adrenaline rush. The problem is, I am starting to see the same traits in my child, but I don't know if my child will always be able to pull things off as well. :-(

P.S. I meant to post this ages ago........ ;-)

Wanting what we can't have

2006-01-10T14:24:00.000-05:00

I posted something like this a while ago, but I am sitting here in my office and the same concept once again, comes to mind. I can go days without eating while I'm in my office. Along comes one day, a fast day, and I can't think about anything else. Why are we programmed this way?
Now, about my neighbor's wife.......

Criticize? or maybe......

2006-01-09T11:02:00.000-05:00

If we buy something and we don't like it, or if someone mistreats us, we are very quick to be vocal and complain and criticize. What about when things go right?
I know we all lead very busy lives and we have to make snap decisions every day on every conversation that we lead, but why is it that we are so quick to complain and so slow to compliment?
My wife is BH much more careful about this than I am. We were recently at Parents Teachers night in my child's school. We waited fifteen minutes on line to speak with the principal. Why? Because my wife insisted on telling him how happy we are with the school, and BH how happy my child is in school and how well my child is doing because of that. After ten minutes of waiting, I asked my wife if we can go, and why do we have to keep waiting. It's not like there are any problems BH. I got my answer after speaking to the principal. He said, "I must have spoken with over a hundred sets of parents tonight, each one with some complaint or another. I must tell you Mr and Mrs Idealist, you made my night." I was amazed. My wife was so right. It's amazing how far a little positive reinforcement and compliment goes.
We were recently at a hotel. The service there was incredible. Everyone there was so courteous. Good morning Mr Idealist, Good afternoon Mr Idealist, Is there anything I can get you Mr Idealist. It was a fairly large hotel, I am shocked they remembered my name. It was a very good feeling for us, to be treated so nicely. When we left, my wife insisted on leaving a comment and thanking the management for instilling such courtesy in their staff. If we hadn't left the comment would they have changed, I doubt it, but after the first experience with the principal, I, too, felt it was the right thing to do. It actually made me feel good to do it.
People want to feel appreciated. It's such a little thing, but it means so much. It happens to really work well on your spouse too. I turned to my wife and told her at one point, that I appreciate her and I appreciate every thing she does for us. It was almost as if I had gotten her a diamond ring. Yeah, right. OK, but it did mean a lot to her.

Making the most of life

2006-01-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer before I begin. I am not chas v'shalom implying that the picture on the right is indicative in any way, shape or form of the appearance of the avos. That being said.......

In this week's parsha when Yaakov comes down to Egypt, Paroh asks him what appears to be a simple question, "kama yemei shenei chayecha?" or "how old are you?". Yaakov's response is anything but simple "yemei shenei megurai shloshim um'as shana, m'at veraim hayu yemei shenei chayai, vlo hisigu es yemei shenei chayei avosai beymei megureihem", loosely translated (in the Stone edition) as "The days of my sojourns have been a hundred and thirty years. Few and bad have been the days of the years of my life, and they have not reached the life spans of my forefathers in the days of their sojourns." Simple question, complicated answer.
I heard what I think is a beautiful explanation from Harav Asher Weiss shlita.
He points out a few other interesting pesukim and then ties them all together.
When the torah mentions the death of the avos and imahos it uses an interesting language:
"Vayihyu chayei Sarah meas shana v'esrim shana v'sheva shanim, shenei chayei Sarah"
"V'aleh yemei shenei chayei avraham asher chai, m'as shana, vshivim shana v'chamesh shanim"
Why the repeated use of the word "chayei". In each case, it's duplicated in the pasuk.
Also we notice that Paroh asked Yaakov about "chayecha" and Yaakov answers using both the term "megurai" and "chayai". One last question. No matter how bad Yaakov had it, it's hard to understand how or why he would complain and gripe to Paroh about his life.
Harav Weiss answers as follows. The word "chai" doesn't just mean living. It means productive living, lshem shamayim. The torah is testifying that in the case of Avraham and Sarah, their lives were "X" amount of years and each and every one of those years was used productively. When Yaakov was asked the question directly about himself, his tmimuskeit (is that a word) and anivus, prevented him from answering what his own years of chayim were. So we should translate Yaakov's response to Paroh, as follows: "I have existed/sojourned on this earth for 130 years. Compared to my father and grandfathers lives, my productive years pale by comparison." However, looking ahead to next week's parsha, the torah tells us, "Vayechi Yaakov ...., Vayehi yemei Yaakov, shenei chayav, sheva shanim, v'arbaim um'as shana".
Yaakov may have been an anav and said about himself that not all of his years were productive, however, at the end of his life, the torah testifies to us that all of his years were truly productive years, l'shem shamayim."
We obviously have our work cut out for us. Let's make the most out of life.

Lack of Originality

2006-01-04T10:14:00.000-05:00

I recently read a post on frumgirl's blog regarding copycatting. At the time I read it I understood it on a more individual level. This weekend I went to the movies, and was astounded at the tremendous lack of originality. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 out in the theaters now. Memoirs of a Geisha is based on a book. Mission Impossible 3, X-Men 3 (based on a comic), Ice Age 2, Pink Panther and a new version of Superman coming soon to theaters near you. I know this isn't a new phenomenon, after all, we already had three Supermans, three Rambos, five Rockys with a SIXTH on the way.
For crying out loud, aren't there people in Hollywood getting paid to come up with creative ideas? Every year there will be one or two good new ideas, but why not more???

Sad but True

2006-01-03T10:42:00.000-05:00

In this week's parsha, the parsha begins with the argument between Yehudah and Yoseif as it pertained to Binyamin's future. Yehudah pleads with Yoseif that if the "naar" doesn't return to his father, it would kill his father. The term "naar" usually connotes a young boy. In this case, the young boy, Binyamin, was in his low 30s. According to rashi in last week's parsha, he already had nine children. I recently heard the question asked, that being the case, why didn't Yehudah plead a perhaps stronger argument, if Binyamin doesn't return, you are creating nine young orphans. The lesson is that it is not a stronger argument. It is harder for a father to lose his son (rachmana litzlon), than for nine children to lose their father.

Segulas

2005-12-30T09:43:00.000-05:00

As we enter into a long Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh/Chanukah/their New Years weekend, this may be my last post for a few days. If it's going to be up there on top for a few days, I guess it had better be good. I'll give it my best shot.

At the onset of WWI (and it obviously applies at all times), the Chofetz Chaim wrote in one of his letters:

"There are people who seek segulos and amulets, or self-flagellation and fasting, to atone for their sins. They are willing to spend thousands on them, each person, according to his personal means and how desperate he is.
Instead, they should regularly pronounce Amen Yehei Shemei Rabba with kavanah, since this can be done easily, and it is a segulah for all salvations - both for the individual and the community. One should encourage others to do this mitzvah, and consistently do it himself, rather than waste his money on external segulos that don't help and won't succeed, and which sap his strength for nothing. A wise man will take these words to heart."

I'd like to consider myself a wise man, so I am trying to do my part.
There are so many tzaros in the world. Everyone has them. Let's focus on the positive and what we can do to help turn things around, "Amen Yehei Shemei Rabba".

Chanukah laining???

2005-12-29T20:45:00.000-05:00

Why is it that on Chanukah in America (Chutz Laaretz) we lain that day of Chanukah, broken into two aliyos, and the next day, so that we have three aliyos, and in Eretz Yisrael we lain that day of Chanukah three times? The answer is not Sfeika D'Yoma, does anybody have any idea what IS the answer???

What are they teaching, Part II

2005-12-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

As masmida hinted in her comment, the answers can easily be found. One is written openly in the pasuk, the other is clear in rashi. Isn't it sad that guys know obscure gemara references but not a simple pasuk and rashi?
How many of us know Seinfeld and sports trivia better than Torah trivia?
That was really the point of the post. Not the question itself.

Now here's what I really want to know, did nobody else comment because:
A) they didn't know what to say.
B) they were embarrassed because they didn't know the answer
C) those are the only four people that read my blog
D) all of the above
E) none of the above

What are Yeshivas teaching our children?

2005-12-27T09:41:00.000-05:00

Friday night at the shabbos table, after some delicious food and zemiros, it was time for parsha and with it, torah trivia. I asked what I thought was a simple question, but I knew based on what and how schools teach these days, that nobody would get the answer right, and if they did it would definitely take some time. So here's the question..... What are the names of Yehuda's two fathers-in-law?
I am not referring to the medrash that the shevatim married their sisters.
If you do, that would make three fathers-in-law for Yehuda.
What's the answer and why don't more people know the answers quicker?

Out of respect to those trying to guess, please post comments here but e-mail me the answer if you think you have it.

Chanukah and doughnuts

2005-12-26T21:49:00.000-05:00

Here it is Chanukah and I am reminded of Chanukah in Israel. Beautiful Chanukiyas lit in every doorway. Caramel doughnuts from Geula.... mmmmmmm those yummy caramel doughnuts.
Why can't we get them in New York? If we can, PLEASE let me know where.

Happy Chanukah

2005-12-25T21:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not really focused enough to type a whole blog but something to think about.....

Isn't it sad how chanukah is the holiday that we celebrate not falling under the influence of the yevanim and yet it's the holiday that has taken on the most from the "yevanim" around us?