Criticize? or maybe......
If we buy something and we don't like it, or if someone mistreats us, we are very quick to be vocal and complain and criticize. What about when things go right?
I know we all lead very busy lives and we have to make snap decisions every day on every conversation that we lead, but why is it that we are so quick to complain and so slow to compliment?
My wife is BH much more careful about this than I am. We were recently at Parents Teachers night in my child's school. We waited fifteen minutes on line to speak with the principal. Why? Because my wife insisted on telling him how happy we are with the school, and BH how happy my child is in school and how well my child is doing because of that. After ten minutes of waiting, I asked my wife if we can go, and why do we have to keep waiting. It's not like there are any problems BH. I got my answer after speaking to the principal. He said, "I must have spoken with over a hundred sets of parents tonight, each one with some complaint or another. I must tell you Mr and Mrs Idealist, you made my night." I was amazed. My wife was so right. It's amazing how far a little positive reinforcement and compliment goes.
We were recently at a hotel. The service there was incredible. Everyone there was so courteous. Good morning Mr Idealist, Good afternoon Mr Idealist, Is there anything I can get you Mr Idealist. It was a fairly large hotel, I am shocked they remembered my name. It was a very good feeling for us, to be treated so nicely. When we left, my wife insisted on leaving a comment and thanking the management for instilling such courtesy in their staff. If we hadn't left the comment would they have changed, I doubt it, but after the first experience with the principal, I, too, felt it was the right thing to do. It actually made me feel good to do it.
People want to feel appreciated. It's such a little thing, but it means so much. It happens to really work well on your spouse too. I turned to my wife and told her at one point, that I appreciate her and I appreciate every thing she does for us. It was almost as if I had gotten her a diamond ring. Yeah, right. OK, but it did mean a lot to her.
I know we all lead very busy lives and we have to make snap decisions every day on every conversation that we lead, but why is it that we are so quick to complain and so slow to compliment?
My wife is BH much more careful about this than I am. We were recently at Parents Teachers night in my child's school. We waited fifteen minutes on line to speak with the principal. Why? Because my wife insisted on telling him how happy we are with the school, and BH how happy my child is in school and how well my child is doing because of that. After ten minutes of waiting, I asked my wife if we can go, and why do we have to keep waiting. It's not like there are any problems BH. I got my answer after speaking to the principal. He said, "I must have spoken with over a hundred sets of parents tonight, each one with some complaint or another. I must tell you Mr and Mrs Idealist, you made my night." I was amazed. My wife was so right. It's amazing how far a little positive reinforcement and compliment goes.
We were recently at a hotel. The service there was incredible. Everyone there was so courteous. Good morning Mr Idealist, Good afternoon Mr Idealist, Is there anything I can get you Mr Idealist. It was a fairly large hotel, I am shocked they remembered my name. It was a very good feeling for us, to be treated so nicely. When we left, my wife insisted on leaving a comment and thanking the management for instilling such courtesy in their staff. If we hadn't left the comment would they have changed, I doubt it, but after the first experience with the principal, I, too, felt it was the right thing to do. It actually made me feel good to do it.
People want to feel appreciated. It's such a little thing, but it means so much. It happens to really work well on your spouse too. I turned to my wife and told her at one point, that I appreciate her and I appreciate every thing she does for us. It was almost as if I had gotten her a diamond ring. Yeah, right. OK, but it did mean a lot to her.
posted by A Frum Idealist | 1/09/2006 11:02:00 AM
4 Comments:
Great post. Oh, and diamonds are so overrated!
So true, Mr. Idealist. :-)
Positive reinforcement can relaly go a long way.... And the opposite is true too. So nice to see such a mentch in blogworld!
I wish I was like that ..
I have a hard time expressing myself in real life..
I agree with you, Mr Idealist. Compliments go very far and are very much unsaid. I try, as often as I remember (my memory is terrible!), to make sure to let my appreciation known. I will be the first to say I don't do it as often as I should, and I appreciate the fact that you reinstilled this ideal in my mind! I only hope I can hang onto the thought....
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