Love....
We love our spouses, our kids, our parents and our siblings. We are commanded to love Hashem.How do we define love? How do we determine if we love someone? what does love mean? how is it quantified? what's the yardstick?
I have my thoughts, but I want to hear yours first.......
posted by A Frum Idealist | 9/05/2006 09:20:00 AM
14 Comments:
I have heard a quick definition of love as meeting needs without expecting anything in return. Jesus teaches to love our enemies also.
Great question and great post. Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler taught that giving leads us to love, not love that leads us to giving.
I am sorry to say but love is not logical. You can not add up ideas and see if the answer is love. You just feel it and when you truly love someone you dont have to figure out the equation. It's just there and you know.
Neil Harris - I could understand that giving leads to love HOWEVER true love is one that WANTS to give. Not to rationalize and say if I give I will learn to love.
Please Frum Idealism, explain to us your idea of love.
A very wise person told me that loving someone is basicly giving someone the power to hurt us. And they will. And we should be ok with that.
But I'd like to add... love is giving. The shoresh of the word Ahava which means love in hebrew is hav which means to give. When we give unconditionally, we love.
I second frumgirls definition...
The true definition of love (as opposed to infatuation) is giving..to give to someone..of yourself...is to love them. Thats why we love nothing more than our children..thats the ultimate act of giving..giving life.
Not to clutter the already sufficient explanation: "giving" - I'm going to add to neil's mussar that the proof for that statement actually has been (more or less) scientifically proved by scientists who have shown that the ultimate [physiological] stage of love is defined by neurobiology that shows a neurochemical/anatomical "fingerprint" for attachment [whose fruits are only reached THROUGH long-term devotion to committed giving].
So its really qualitative data, not quantitative (I doubt there is a "yardstick"...the closest thing would be some kind of obsession test I'd think).
very true frumgirl and david and yakki, but I think there's more to it. I will post again hopefully later today or tomorrow with my thoughts
I actually think chaverah makes a good point - I've been wondering whether love, or artificial love, if it hasn't been fully realized, can precede giving. I used to think that you have to love someone to an extent - even if its irrational (infatuation?) - in order to give yourself fully for their benefit, but now I'm not so sure...
I think that action speaks louder than words. And when people realize this, then they really show their love.
Afi, looking forward to your thoughts
Ooooh, I await the next installment!
I'd say when you miss that person where he/she's not around.
As far as loving H'Ashem goes, that's different.
Love is when you want to give.. fulfill the other's need...bask in the warmth of connection..inner glow alight... spreading warmth and a happy feeling..content in sharing..
Loving Hashem - who although has no 'needs' - does ask certain things from us - so although it isnt as 'need' per se - it goes under the same category as far as us humans are concerened
(my understanding of it - )
Hard to define but I think of the love I have for my daughter and I think of abundance, joy, unconditional, filled up inside, and care. Those are the words and emotions that come to mind with love.
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