Relationships

In the middle of the Al Chaits we say "Slach Lanu, Mchal Lanu, Kaper Lanu". We say three different versions of "forgive us". Why the three different versions?
The simple answer that is generally brought down is that one is to forgive three different types of sins, one for accidental sins, one for intentional sins and one for sins of a rebellious nature. There is some discussion about which one is for which.
Today I heard what I think is an amazing answer that seems to fit so perfectly.
Our relationship with Hashem resembles one of three examples. parent-child, king/master-servant/subject and finally that of husband and wife.
The biggest sin or crime that a child can commit towards the parent is forgetting the parent. During our formative years, we can't do anything for ourselves, we rely completely on our parents, and all that we ask is that we not forget them. We probably all still remember, one of the worst things a child can do is forget to call the parent to let them know that they arrived somewhere. We look to Hashem as our father, avinu shebashamayim. We are guilty of forgetting him. He gives us the month of Elul to remedy that situation. As we say in L'dovid during the month of Elul, Kee avi v'imi azavuni. We felt abandoned and in turn "forgot" about our father. We forget Hashem because we put ourselves first. For that, we ask forgiveness when we say slach lanu. Slach is the same letters as chasol which means to cover over. We are asking Hashem's help in covering our ego. As we say daily, slach lanu avinu kee chatanu. Kee anu vanecha, v'ata avinu.
The worst sin or crime that a servant can commit towards the king is rebellion or disobedience. We also know of hashem as our melech, our king. With every sin, we fail to give Hashem the respect He deserves. He has a grand plan, but we choose to do our own thing, because in our narrow(minded) eyes, it's more important. In return, what does He give us? Rosh Hashana. The day that we remember, "Zeh Hayom Techilas Maasecha" This is the day that Hashem created the world. This is the yearly anniversary of the coronation of Hashem as King of Kings. What better day to re-remember him. That is the entire tafkid of Rosh Hashana. We make very few if any requests for ourselves on Rosh Hashana, the main thing that we daven for is "V'yitnu lcha kesser melucha" we pray for the return to glory of Hashem's kingship. For that, we ask forgiveness when we say mchal lanu. Mchal is the same letters as chamol which means to have mercy. As we say daily, mchal lanu malkeinu kee fashanu. kee anu avadecha v'ata adonainu.
Finally, we relate to Hashem as a spouse. What's the worst crime that one spouse can commit toward the other? Insensitivity. (all other thing flow or stem from that). If/when we only pay half attention to our spouses, or even if we throw out the casual "I love you" without meaning, or failing to recognize when something is bothering them, those are the worst crimes. How often do we do that to Hashem? Even when we do his mitzvos, are we paying attention? Are we doing it out of rote or do we do it because that's what He wants and how HE wants us to do them? In the tochacha it says why will this fall upon you, because you did the mitzvos without simcha/happiness. The mitvos weren't neglected, they just weren't done with the right intentions and attentions. Yom Kippur is the day of forgiveness for this.
For that, we ask forgiveness when we say kaper lanu. Kaper means to totally cleanse, as we know in a marriage even when there is forgiveness, the scars often remain. Comments made years prior are still always remembered even if they are forgiven. For that we need kapara to wipe the slate completely clean. It also explains why Yom Kippur is brought down as a day of shidduchim. It's a day of the re-uniting of chosson and kallah. kee anu raayasecha, v'ata dodainu.
May we all be zocheh to strengthen our relationships with our loved ones and with our father, our king, our beloved Hashem

Gemar Chasima Tova to one and all.