Friends

The saying goes, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family". That saying is obviously true, and when people say it they are usually focusing on the negative, dealing with family issues. I, however, want to take this opportunity to focus on the positive. I don’t know where I would be without my friends.

While I am friends with someone, I am extremely dedicated to them, and hope and expect that they will be to me as well. When the time comes to move on, and in almost all situations, that time invariably comes, I retain the friendship and try to maintain the communication, but it clearly exists on a very different level. Then again, although we experienced a few year break, I am once again friends with the first friend that I ever had. Our families go back years before we were born, and now he and I daven in the same shul again.
When I moved to my current home, my wife and I were discussing the friends that we were leaving behind. It disappointed her, but I had a different approach. It didn't really bother me. I knew that we would make new friends and great new friends in our new community, just as we had in the old one, if not better (and we have). It sounds strange considering the importance that I seem to be placing on friends and friendships, but to me, it actually makes sense.
When we moved, in my head, it was almost necessary for us to find new friends. It was as if we grew and our friends didn't grow with us, and we needed to find new friends at our "new level". I hope that doesn’t sound haughty because that’s not the way it’s intended. Friendships are usually based on connections and similarities, and as those wane...... generally, so does the level of the friendships.

Throughout my life, I have BH had many friends. Interestingly, I have always had many people that I am friendly with at a given time, but I have not always had a "best" friend (excluding spouses here). My wife and I have often discussed that she usually has one best friend and many other friends. I generally tend to have different friends for different purposes. Different friends to suit my different needs. I don’t need one friend to be an all-inclusive package. I can have one sports buddy, one going-out buddy, one shul buddy, one work buddy, etc etc etc. and I appreciate them all very much.
Somehow I am able to juggle them all, and I think each one believes that they are one of my closest friends, and in fact, they are, so I guess it works.
These days, however, I do have a best friend. A friend that I am very thankful for and appreciate having in my life. You know the kind of best friend that I’m talking about.
Someone that you look forward to talking to and makes you smile as soon as you hear his/her voice no matter what else is going on in your life.
Someone with whom you look forward to sharing events in your life and have them share theirs with you as well.
Someone who when something interesting happens in your life, your immediate first thought is to call and tell them.
Someone to whom you can tell ANYTHING and you know won’t judge you.
Someone who you can even tell that you have a blog and it doesn't affect what you write on it.
Someone with whom time always flies when you are together because inevitably whatever you are doing, it's fun.
Someone that hurts when you hurt and you feel their hurt when they are hurting as well.
Someone that can cheer you up regardless of how down you are feeling.
Someone that will read this blog and even though I haven't mentioned any names, will instinctively know that this really is meant for them.

Thanks. I’m glad I “chose” you.